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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner told son to shut up

6 replies

BudgieBalls · 20/11/2018 14:29

We'd gone to another town for a day out on Sunday because they had an event on. Literally 20 mins of being there he told our son to shut up because he was crying he wanted to go on another ride. He's only 2 1/2. I told him not to tell him to shut up and he said 'whatever'. I said so much for making it up to me (after he was a dick 2 days prior) and he said I could fuck off if I thought he was making it up to me now. I didn't want anything from him except to be able to go and have a nice day out. I just felt sad tbh and didn't see the point in staying there and being upset so we went home. Didn't talk to me on the way home (1 hour) except to ask if I was hungry. Got home about 5. He barely spoke to me at home, tbh I mostly just ignored him because I was pissed off with him. He did bring me tea and then came back and took pots away, but didn't try and talk.

I just don't feel like talking to him. Yesterday he had written a note on the fridge saying he was sorry he was rude etc. He'd washed the pots and put a wash on. He also text me in the morning asking what time i was going out, and text me in the afternoon to ask if i was eating out that night (he was in the house with me).
He text me this morning asking if I'm ready to make amends now as it's gone on long enough.

He hasn't tried to talk to me in person. I haven't replied to his messages. He isn't usually a dick but it's been 3 times this past week and it's too much. I don't really know what to do now. Sure if he tries to speak to me about it i will but he normally tries to talk via message or just tries to make me laugh/make me tea. I have no idea who's being the dick by dragging it out I just know i feel really sad about the whole situation.

OP posts:
PaleRider1 · 20/11/2018 14:37

How long have you been with him? Do you live together?

TBH I couldn't be arsed with anyone that couldn't be bothered to speak to me face to face when in the same house. That's just rude.

And I'm afraid I'd be showing him the door if he spoke to my child like that.

QuickWash · 20/11/2018 14:46

You say he hasn't tried to talk to you but it sounds v much like he could be saying that you've refused to speak to him over these days too?

It all sounds like there's a lot more back story and reasons to feel how you do.

You need to talk to him to move forwards.

Kittykat93 · 20/11/2018 14:47

Sorry no partner of mine would be telling my 2 year old to shut up.

That along with his other behaviour would have me leaving.

BudgieBalls · 20/11/2018 14:51

We've been together for 3.5 years. We do live together.

I agree it's rude and childish, but I've just gone along with it so it doesn't make me much better. I just feel seeing as he was the one who created it he should be the one to come to talk. I'm probably 'better' at it than he is anyway as he will make me cups of tea or food and try and get me to talk that way, but I don't want to talk to him unless it's about the issue.

I don't want to break up with him but it makes me angry that He thinks it okay to tell him to shut up (although it is the 1st time - that i know of). He just doesn't cope well when ds has a meltdown.

OP posts:
Santaispolishinghissleigh · 20/11/2018 14:55

Sounds like a chat is needed on ways to handle a toddler.
I personally would have told mine to be quiet also. The rest of your incident just seems like lack of toddler knowledge that escalated.

BudgieBalls · 20/11/2018 15:07

I don't have a problem telling ds to be quiet, there's ways to say it though that aren't so abrupt, I know my partner wouldn't like it if I told him to shut up so why he thinks it's okay for a child I don't know.

I know we need to talk, I am just hoping he will come and talk to me 😏

@QuickWash
I agree. I think he's tried in indirect ways to show me he's sorry - he wouldn't normally wash the pots or put a wash on in the morning for example, I just can't forgive him ruining a day by his inability to say sorry.

OP posts:
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