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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Happy but insane!!

5 replies

Rocklover · 20/06/2007 23:41

Haven't posted on here for while, but could do with some soothing words (if at all possible). Have been separated from my husband for almost a year and I have a beautiful daughter by him.

I have recently met a wonderful guy and, although I was trying to be all sensible and cautious...things seem to have moved quickly. We have been going out for around 6 weeks, although due to circumstances we only get to see each other at the weekend. He said he loved me after about 3 weeks of seeing each other, and at first I felt terrified, but realised when I stopped panicking that i actually felt the same. He is the total opposite of my ex, gorgeous, pretty cool (yeah as in he just oozes coolness), he is really intelligent, very sensitive and we have loads in common and he says he adores me. He is always complimenting me, constantly telling me how he feels, says really beautiful things to me.

So you would think...hey she's got it made; but I can't help being paranoid, I don't understand why he's dating me and it is really doing my head in. I totally trust him, but he is one of those men that could literally have anyone he wanted, so I am nonplussed. I think my self esteem has taken a beating from my failed marriage, but I don't want to start a new relationship with my demons hanging over me, how can I clear my head once and for all? I am terrified of getting my heart broken again.

OP posts:
DivaSkyChick · 20/06/2007 23:50

Honey,

You're gorgeous, you're young, you're sensitive - why shouldn't this guy be crazy about you?

Enjoy yourself!

MerryMarigold · 20/06/2007 23:58

I'm sure you are worthy of him. Maybe he is not as wonderful as you think! I mean...you are pretty smitten. Did you ever feel like this about your ex? I have felt like this in most of my relationships to be honest - at the beginning. Just enjoy this time - and know the novelty will wear off, but for now, it's great and he is totally perfect in your eyes.

Rocklover · 21/06/2007 00:11

I know he isn't perfect, believe me! He has some confidence issues himself and he is in a rock band which takes up quite a bit of his time, so seeing him can be an issue.

Yes I did feel smitten with my ex when I was with him (at the beginning), however, he was my only major relationship and I think I mis-read many of my feelings. For example, I was NEVER attracted to him like I am to my my new boyfriend, it's electric..for both of us! And I didn't have anything in common with my ex, just took on all his interests, with my new man we have sooo much in common, same sense of humor etc. I can hardly believe that he found me. Just wish I could rid myself of this gloomy feeling about it all!!

OP posts:
warthog · 21/06/2007 09:58

i think the only way to get rid of this feeling is time. if he's genuinely into you, he'll stick around, and you'll gradually feel more and more secure. i think it's natural to have these feelings in your situation, but i think there is no quick fix for this. time, and the repair of your confidence.

Rocklover · 21/06/2007 10:37

Thanks! Yet again you guys are fantastic...I guess I am just scared that it will all end and I will be heartbroken. But I am going to be positive today. Thanks again ladies!!

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