I reconnected with an acquaintance from university. This was in April. We're 45, both divorced with 2 teenage DC each. We barely knew each other at university but had a good friend in common. He added me on FB in February and 8 weeks later we started chatting via messenger about a shared interest (I'd put up a status about it). It was innocent and friendly at first but then we realised we had loads in common and also became emotionally close, discussing our divorces, problems, feelings. Chats became more and more regular and turned sexual in September, with him saying I'm his fantasy and he thinks of me constantly. The messages have been both loving and sexual, with him commenting on my intellect and humour as well as my looks.
He lives 30 minutes away. He never suggested meeting and I was nervous about meeting (low body confidence, find intimacy hard) so I didn't suggest it either. I enjoyed the online thing, the buzz. My marriage had been dismal and joyless and I really liked fancying someone and being adored, and feeling like a heady teen falling in love.
Recently I've been debating suggesting a pre-Christmas drink. I feel sort of ready. Today, I saw a close friend and told her. She was excited and keen to see what he was like so she looked him up on Facebook on her phone and on his profile it said "in a relationship with Jane Smith".
Shocked..we were both stunned.
This status is not visible to me. It's obviously been hidden from me. I logged in just now using my elderly dad's account and can see "in a relationship with Jane Smith" via dad's account too.
I've been duped. More digging (her profile isn't private) shows they've been together 16 months but don't live together, she has 2 teen daughters. Jane's most recent status refers to booking a holiday with him for Easter with all the kids. She's posted lots of stuff about him but since talking to me, he never referred to her on FB or tagged her - he's airbrushed her for my benefit it seems - the last time he liaised with her in any way publicly on FB was April. We've exchanged hundreds of private messages and he's mentioned loads of relatives and mates but never her.
Should I challenge him about this emotional affair or ghost him? I'm tempted to ask him out just to see what he says. No idea what to do. Was with my ex husband from 1996-2017 so am so inexperienced and out of the loop. I want nothing more to do with him but it's playing on my mind and I'm so disappointed, I was psyched up to meet and maybe start dating. I really thought he liked me very much.