Anyone else planning to leave next year?

[SunflowerJo08]

I have finally had enough of DH (dickhead in this context!). I have totally and utterly had enough but because we run a business together and I have some debts to pay off, I can't leave "yet". I have a lot of ducks to get in a row first, and it needs to be done all without his knowledge.

After years of being told to "leave/you know where the door is/I don't want to be with you anymore", I'm finally taking him at his word and leaving next year. After a weekend of putting up with his total and utter bullshit, I'm done. But he hasn't got the balls to finish things himself or keep anything amicable, so it is all going to have to be done very subtly, with probably a moonlight flit to my mum's next year. I can't take the stress of going now, with nothing.

He's worn me down to the point where I just do not care any more.

Anyone else in the same boat?

Just waiting in that small lottery win. 1m would be perfect

Me too 're lottery win. Not next year but when the children are old enough

My Fuck Off Fund is slowly growing - £6000 so far 

Yep I have a slowly growing fund and will also have to sell my car as I've never had my own insurance, it'll be too big for me and I won't be able to afford to run it.

It feels good, positive, to own the situation a little.

At the moment he's not speaking to me but unfortunately for him I have no intention of breaking the silence because it is just wonderful not to hear his voice!

Good to know there are others feeling the same.

I'm not in this situation thankfully but I was 9 years ago.

Just came on to say very very best of luck to you all and to trust if you're here mentally, it's the right thing to do. I am so glad I did. You're all so much stronger than you know.

I waited from May 2012 until Feb 2013 then left. It was really hard on me psychologically to get through that time, be aware of the potential impact on your mental health. I’ve never regretted leaving but I did wonder if I should have just gone sooner.

Am definitely here mentally. My sister and mum are looking to move next year and my initial plan is to live with them and share living costs. I've got several loose ends to tie up, bills going into his name etc, removing myself from the business, keeping the savings going and so on.

Yes !
Seeing a solicitor tomorrow but have a young DS so will hold out until Christmas/ NY are over with.

Husband has no idea . I just can't continue being married to him and dealing with this level of unhappiness.

Good luck BlueMascara - use this time to get all your paperwork in order. Keep chatting on here as much as you can.

Another one waiting for a lottery win!

Yep, if not earlier.

It’s difficult isn’t it knowing Christmas is just around the corner. I have to face the facts his bday is in jan too, and we have his mums wedding early in the year.

It’s stupid and all my friends just think I’m making excuses not to go. I can’t face the trauma of it all right now but then again my anxiety is that bad I don’t even know if I can make it that far

I can relate to the anxiety too . My stomach is in constant knots.

Be careful with your leaving funds, they will be a marital asset and could be split between you.
When I was in similar position I used to withdraw cash and give it to my mum who put it in a savings account in her name, and then after I left she 'paid' for things out of 'her' savings as gifts to me

^^

Just waiting for the big win...

I don't think we are really leaving the EU so I'm going to stay put and see what happens in April next year

TBH you can keep hanging on for events and it's never the right time, there's always going to be something. I inadvertantly left on my ex MIL's birthday. It was before Christmas. I was worried Christmas would be shit but it was fine - I went away with my mum and we just holed up and saw nobody. DS was little as well, so he didn't really mind. I'd hung on through a holiday and DS's birthday. The holiday was interesting as we went with a friend of XP's and while I didn't dare say outright that I was leaving he pointed out behaviours to me which were weird and I was able to agree and observe, it helped reiterate the relationship wasn't normal.

The anxiety is killer, I only ended up in limbo for 3 months in the end and it was enough. I lost so much weight I was like a skeleton, it was painful to sit in the bath because I could feel the bones through my bum. But that constant stress is really bad for you and can make you ill.

Def make sure you are safe and your exit plan is solid, but don't stay too long either. The whole relationship was hard but those last three months were the hardest time of all. I don't like lying but I was lying with my life.

And stay away from relationships for a long time. But it's possible to heal and have a healthy one.

I'm leaving in the new year, saw a solicitor in October when my husband bought cocaine into the house. I'm disgusted by his behaviour. He has done so many bad things to me and they keep getting worse. I'm also self employed so it's my busiest time of year business wise and I couldn't cope with the business and stress of a divorce so January will be when I finally do it. Plus I need to find a part time job so I can keep the house in my name.

Me. I'm just saving up enough to get my own car then I'm kicking him out. I've already sorted a lot of the finances out so I can afford to keep the house etc. Hopefully will be in the new year.