For a few weeks I suspected my wife was having an affair - all the usual classic signs.
To cut a long story short I caught her two days ago in her car with someone she knows from a kids club they run together. They had been in the exact spot for two days in a row.
Anyway over the last two days the information has come out:-
- it started with external meetings about 8 weeks ago.
- they usual meet, probably 3-4 times a week, where he parks for work and they would talk for 30 minutes or so. They have also met for lunch.
- when we talked immediately after she said they kissed nearly every time but ‘not with tongues or anything’. She has now changed that to they had two pecks.
- she says that they just talked about normal stuff work, life, the kids club etc.
- she says that he made her feel like she could be herself and she has rewritten our history to say that she has been unhappy for a long time. I know this isn’t true really.
- she never once told me anything even though I repeatedly told her that I knew something was happening, even if it wasn’t affair. I even asked if it was the guy who it turned out to be.
- she lied and was deceitful and even played on my paranoia to throw me off the scent.
Anyway it is pretty clear she had an emotional affair with him and I think I caught it before it got sexual.
However, now she is completely refusing to give up helping run this kids club and accept what I think.
Now she is also claiming that they were just friends and the little ‘pecks’ just happened and shouldn’t have.
She says the only thing she has done wrong is not tell me she was meeting him.
She is in denial and minimising it while also turning it into my fault. We are going to counselling but I can’t get over her approach to it all.
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?
Thank you