Am I right to prioritize friend's feelings?

[Sonjing]

Hi all, I'd love some perspective on this situation.

One of my closest friends had a male best friend from high school until her early 30s. I also met the guy through her maybe 3 or 4 times, ten years ago. He is really nice, smart and attractive.

Then 3 years ago they decided to try to date, and give it a go. She was living in another continent as she has a very mobile job (moving to a different country every year or so). They guy lived in a European city.

They dated LD for 3 months, after which she called it off as she was not feeling it. The friendship has never really recovered.

Fast forward to now, 3 years later. My friend is in a very happy relationship with another man who has a similarly mobile job. She is very much in love. 6 months ago I moved to the same European city where my friend's ex lives.

We bumped into each other accidentally and he invited me out for a drink. I think he might be keen. I thought I would text my friend to check if she was ok with me going. She said it makes her feel really uncomfortable, and that she'd prefer me not to go, although she understands she has no right to ask me not to.

I think I will come up with an excuse and not go. What would you do? Am I right to prioritize my friend's feelings?

Thank you for your advices 

No I think your friend is being unfair. I understand her feelings because in her head he’s still ‘hers’, but she is in a relationship. And if she cares about you both she would want you to find happiness.

Nobody needs anybody’s permission.

Go. She's being mean

You've sent the message now but I'd have advised you not to put is a question so much as a curtousy statement so that's she didn't have the option to say no. You've back yourself into a corner but I think she's been a bit unfair because although it might feel odd to her - it's not like they dated ages and she was the one who called it off. She's moved on so should just suck it up imo but I understand you bot wanting to upset her. Are you keen? On him I mean?

I think I'd feel really weird about it if one of my best friends ended up with my ex tbh, I'd be thinking that you would be discussing me or that the ex would be comparing us or whatever so I get why she'd be uncomfortable, I think if we're honest most people would feel uncomfortable about it. So I mean, she was being honest about it

If they had been in a long term and loving relationship then I could understand her anger.
My ex best friend got together with my ex partner when he separated from me. I had been with him for 4 years and I was absolutely heartbroken by the pair of them when they announced they were together 6 months later.
Their relationship didn't last longer than a year but still. I've never spoken to her again. She knew I still loved him and was struggling to cope with the split when she dropped her knickers for him.

Your friend is being unreasonable. Clearly she doesn't have these loving feelings towards him therefore I don't see why it should matter if you start dating him.

Personally I think that is really horrible if you go; totally get why she feels uncomfortable and don't be surprised if she distances herself from you, logically it's daft but in her eyes, it will still look like you are stepping on her toes.

Go!!!! You might not click or....you might. Nothing ventured and all that. Friend has long moved on. Perhaps no need to tell her anything unless it turns into something.

id reply back saying oh wow, i think i must have misjudged your previous relationship, as I thought youd been mainly friends, but obviously your feelings for him still run much deeper.

I'd send what Bran has suggested.

I think it is awkward now that you have asked and she's said she will feel weird. Tbh I think you will both feel weird now anyway.

How much do you like him? Would you meet up anyway just as friends?

Why the hell did you feel you needed to ask her permission ?

GO for the drink

It’s so selfish of her.
Not like he was a love of her life and broke her heart....
What sort of friend IS she to both of you if she didn’t want the best for you. And what if you two click and fall for each other?
As a friend - she should be HAPPY for her friends looking for and finding happiness....

Go - and don’t look back. She isn’t a great friend.

It was LD, didn't last long and she broke it off. I don't see any issues.