Been with dh for 20 years and have two teenaged children 16 and 14. Caught him sniffing around a secretary at work a few weeks ago. We tried to make a go of it but it clearly wasn't happening. He blew up over nothing in front of the kids and it was just obvious he not only doesn't love me but doesn't really like me any more. He's moving out this weekend into a flat that is walking distance so he can still see the kids. He's not been particularly pleasant to them either, snapping at the younger one that she was 'just like your mum' when she simply misunderstood a question. She came home very upset and confused.
I've just found out that he's defriended me on Facebook and my parents and any relations or friends of mine. He has deleted all family photos with me in them. There is no sign of me at all. He plans to take very few things with him, pretty much what he came into the relationship with (after he left his previous wife). Of course he has now friended the secretary (who knows about me) and he is still friends with the children who will see all his posts and report back to me. I know there is no 'normal' when it comes to relationship break ups but is this what people (men) do after a 20 year relationship when their wife is also the mother of their children? He knows I have tried very hard to make things work. I also have worked increasingly long hours and in recent years have contributed as much to the family income as he has, with the potential to earn more than him in the future.
His erasing of me and our marriage has been the thing that has hit me hardest in the last week or so. I am left wondering what on earth it has all been for and certainly why I've been working so hard (in paid work and for the family) when he can do this so brutally and with such apparent lack of care or affection.