Not sure if I’m overreacting

[ShouldIForget]

I’ve namechanged for this.
I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not.

DP had a comment off someone on insta, I clicked on it to see who it was out of curiosity. It was a woman and he’d liked a majority of her pictures, some of the pictures were her in her underwear (why she’d feel the need to post these is a completely different question). I questioned him about it and he said it was someone he went to school with but after further questioning it turns out it’s his ex.

I feel really upset about this but I’m not sure if I’m overreacting. He said he liked those pictures but he since unliked them because he realised it was wrong. My self esteem is pretty low right now, my whole body has changed after having a baby and I don’t know if that’s making me create a big deal over nothing. She’s much more attractive than me.

Would anyone else be bothered by this?

Well the fact that he lied to you about who she really was isn’t a good start. It would bother me too, so I don’t think you’re overreacting tbh.

Bothered?

The twat would be lucky to still be breathing.

Eyeing up the Ex at any time, but especially when you’ve just had his baby, is beyond the pale. Then LYING about how he knows her. Wanker.

The thing is, this would REALLY make me wonder what else he was doing if he thought this was acceptable.

He said he lied about who she was to avoid an argument ... That didn’t really work out for him.

So he's appreciating another womans body, undies 'n all. Then he decides to lie to you about who it was and only after further questioning he confesses the truth. I think your entitled to be angry and hurt by this. No doubt the feelings of insecurity you presently feel heighten your response to all this.

Firstly I would suggest there's nothing wrong with the way you look, sure I have not seen a picture of you. But as a guy I can appreciate the beauty in all women. So please don't doubt your own self worth. She may be posing in her alltogether but you are the one who has a family. Don't waste your time comparing.

Secondly, I think your partner should be eating a bit of humble pie. I am hoping there are no indications that he has been playing away. In which case make sure you know exactly what you feel and if he has any sense of spine he will be doing his utmost to reassure you and be apologetic.

If its a pattern of behaviour and he's being doing a lot of dubious things like hiding his phone and deleting messages be incredibly wary. I hope he isn't.

And I bet he's no Brad Pitt, stop putting yourself down based on his disgusting actions; he's actively seeking her out and complimenting her; she sounds a right slag; then lies to you about who it is; you even have to ask, yes it's highly inappropriate and his lying is another issue, he only unliked because you caught him out.

He'd seriously be in the dog house and I'd be telling him the trust is gone so it's up to him to regain it.

The lying would have me super suspicious. What did he have to gain from making up that it was a school friend? Silly man.

What are the circumstances of being an ex? Did he instigate it or him? Either way I'm not sure he should be Stalking following her on Instagram.

There isn’t anything else that’s made me suspicious. After two relationships with some pretty shady characters, I was quite paranoid to begin with and it’s taken me a long time to get comfortable and secure in this relationship. I feel miffed that this has slightly undone that.

He’s apologised, explained he just likes most pictures, knows he shouldn’t have done it and there isn’t any other shady behaviour so I want to move on from it but I’m finding it quite difficult. The lying especially made it worse.

She was apparently a very short lived relationship that didn’t really mean a lot from a couple of years ago so I don’t see why the need to follow on social media or “like” all the images.

It's hard to come back from broken trust though isn't it?