Handhold please

[Anxioustimes12]

Follow on from previous thread last week. Built up courage and told OH I wanted to separate. It hasn't gone well. He's very upset, doesn't want to separate, at first said that we shouldnt tell anyone and should both stay in the house for 6 months before selling. Said we should sleep separately. By Sunday he denied saying he didn't want us to tell anyone. Denied saying we should sleep separately. Insists on wanting to still watch tv with me, eat with me....... I'm feeling so guilty as he is clearly devastated, but also just completely awful in every way. He hasn't slept. I hardly slept Saturday night but last night I think I just 'passed out' so to speak. Now I'm at work and I can't concentrate and I'm on the verge of tears all the time....have I done the right thing? He doesnt want to move out although he could afford to or go to his Mums. I can't afford to and I haven't got anyone who I could stay with. I own 2/3 house he owns the rest. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks

I didn't see your other thread sorry but I'm guessing you have reasons for instigating the split. Ofcourse he is goig to be nicey nicey now but remember those reasons, I'm sure it's not a decision you came to lightly. IME people don't change, they change for a month or even 6 but eventually stuff slides back to how it was.

You need to see a solicitor and have it documented from which day you legally separated.

Do you have a second bedroom? Might be an idea to move in there, get the house on the market and let people know you are separating.

But firstly speak to your boss and let them know what is happening and ask for a few days off so that you can get everything started and your head straight.

Good luck OP xx

Thank you both. Beaverhausen thats rhe problem he wont agree to sell the house. Also he doesnt work so if i take time off work I'll be indoors with him even more.
I wish I knew how to link this to my previous post :(

He can disagree all he likes, if you want to sell it he doesn't have any choice in the matter. I would definitely move into another room and if necessary and him being an arse, get a blow up bed or a sleeping bag and sleep in the living room or something. Consult solicitors to get the ball rolling and then get the house on the market. I don't know your reasons for going, and I suppose it doesn't really matter. But if you have made the choice he should respect it.

No one likes to upend the apple cart. We get comfortable in the life we have. Change is a dirty word. Routine is what we like. But sometimes you have to taste the bitter to appreciate the sweet. If he's living in denial or being plain obstructive just go ahead with your plans anyway. Don't let him stop you from being happy. And what ever guilt you harbour will pass. I wish you the best.

He does not work! Anxious go and see a solicitor, lay your cards on the table and take it from there. A solicitor will be the best person to talk to and direct you from there.

He wont have an option but to sell trust me, if he wont sell he needs to find the money to buy you out. Get a solicitor and they will take it from there and if lazy bones tries to make life difficult for you you call the police.

Do not let this man assume you are scared of him, bullies will only bully if they think you are scared of them.

Whose name is on the Mortgage? If yours he does not have a leg to stand on.

Sorry, perhaps I've misled, he's retired, he took early retirement. It was my house with small mortgage when we met. He paid it off with some of his lump sum . Now he own 1/3, I own 2/3.