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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was it how I dealt with this or is he an arse?

7 replies

LavenderShortbread · 19/11/2018 10:32

OH told me to “get a job and go out to work” when I asked him to look after DD after a particularly difficult day. I have a few health issues so get tired easily. She had been playing up, tantruming, refusing to walk home etc and I was so tired, I just wanted a quick break before cooking dinner. Granted, I didn’t ask as such, and he’d just stepped through the front door after work to be greeted by me moaning about how difficult she’d been and saying “she’s all yours now”. Was I out of line?
I work for myself from home and fit it around DD with very limited childcare. We have no family near by and it is tough.
Getting a bit fed up that me “not going out to work” keeps getting thrown in my face. So because I don’t physically leave the house to go to a place of work every day, I don’t have a job or the right to ask for help looking after OUR daughter?!

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 19/11/2018 10:34

He's an arse. You know that, right?

Aussiebean · 19/11/2018 10:42

The other day I sent my dh a text as he was driving home that while everything was ok, I needed alone time.

I am on maternity leave with a very energetic toddler and bad weather.

He walked in, I went to the bedroom and shut the door for an hour.

He is an arse.

Greensleeves · 19/11/2018 10:45

I feel so sad for you that he's such an arse. My dh couldn't wait to get home and be with his kids when they were little. We used to bicker over who got to do stuff with them. And they weren't super-easy kids, the eldest has ASD and they're both fiery temperaments. He just adored them and wanted to be a dad.

Honestly, it's not you. He's a lazy bastard.

Adora10 · 19/11/2018 11:56

What a joke, can't even look after his own child, everything is your fault, yip total nasty arsehole.

Santaispolishinghissleigh · 19/11/2018 11:59

Suggest the way for you to get a job outside of the house would involve him committing to childcare and housework.

Trinity66 · 19/11/2018 13:45

So because he goes out to work he never has to look after his own child? Is he for real?

LavenderShortbread · 19/11/2018 20:39

Thank you everyone, it means a lot to know I’m not losing my mind!

In fact this is a man too lazy to even brush his teeth before going to bed 😫 🙄

OP posts:
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