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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Online dating - pls reassure me I’ve done the right thing

11 replies

chickenfanette · 19/11/2018 07:57

So I’m quite new to online dating, mixed experience so far ... I left an abusive relationship 18 months ago and have been working hard to rebuild my life. I’ve been having counselling to work on boundaries which has really helped.
Anyway, I’ve been chatting to this guy, he asked to meet up, seemed really keen etc. We agreed a date and time to meet. He messaged the day before to check I was still ok to meet, I said yes. On the day of the date, he messaged an hour before we were due to meet, saying was I still ok to meet up and he didn’t think we had agreed a time.. I said yes still ok to meet and reminded him of the agreed time (which he had suggested!!). Then he messaged back to say actually he’s unwell with a cold and can we take a rain check!! Hmm No apology ...
I was very annoyed as I’m a single parent and childfree time is limited.
My first instinct was to be sympathetic and give him the benefit of the doubt etc, but actually I think he’s treated me quite shabbily so I’ve blocked him so I’m not tempted to get drawn in again. Please reassure me I’ve done the right thing and not been too harsh? Because of my past experiences I find it quite difficult to judge these things ... my gut feeling is that this was the right thing to do.

OP posts:
Oddsocksandmeatballs · 19/11/2018 08:00

I reckon you dodge a bullet there, I would've done the same.

Noseyrosey991 · 19/11/2018 08:01

You’ve absolutely done the right thing! Start as you mean to go on. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of that to contend with when online dating. It’s all BS until it’s not! Good luck, it’s hard work but don’t give up, they’re not all arseholes (or so I’m told Wink) xx

HereIgoagainxx · 19/11/2018 08:02

You did the right thing. Good for you. His behaviour was ridiculous and he was treating you shabbily.

RyderWhiteSwan · 19/11/2018 08:04

You did the right thing. Head up, shoulders back - next!

tsonlyme · 19/11/2018 08:07

Totally the correct response... bub bye.

There is a cohort of online daters who just seem to want the flattery that they can get a date with no intention of following it through or any consideration for the other party.

Next!

OliviaStabler · 19/11/2018 08:08

Yes you did the right thing. It sounds like he wanted to do something else so blew you off. Onwards and upwards Flowers

Cawfee · 19/11/2018 08:09

Yep. Totally the right thing. He’s obviously attached and got cold feet at the last minute

Thankyounext · 19/11/2018 08:09

Yes it was just an excuse.

ShatnersWig · 19/11/2018 08:16

Join the dating thread

chickenfanette · 19/11/2018 08:32

Thanks all - that’s reassuring! I’m just relieved he didn’t actually stand me up, that would have been worse. Onwards and upwards Smile

OP posts:
thisusernameisrubbish · 19/11/2018 10:25

Yessssssssss girl!

Exactly how OLD should be handled. There's enough people out there that you don't need to tolerate shady behaviour.

I've gone through this many times. Had one guy who went out the night before our date (probably another date) although said he was "with friends" and he got too drunk and home late that he was too hungover for my date with him. He asked if we could move it to another date...so I blocked him!

Another one cancelled last minute, no apology, then a day later messaged later asking when I was free like nothing had happened...BLOCKED!

Effort is everything.

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