What sort of relationship did you have with your ILs post split?

[nostaples]

Have been with dh for 20 years and have two children in their mid teens who live with me. They don't live nearby. No contact since the split from any of them though I contacted them. Would you say this is normal? FWIW, split was instigated by dh, initially pursuing another woman and then being an arse more generally.

I get along with my inlaws a lot better since we broke up, but there's less and less contact.

Before we broke up there was always some tension as I couldn't really talk to them openly - felt like I had to keep my mouth shut if I disagreed as exh disapproved otherwise. After his affair I was so pissed off that I just said what I thought and surprise, surprise, they respected that, my new boundaries and me. I had exFIL round for Christmas and other visits while still living in the house with the kids. But now I've got a little flat on my own, no kids, no reason to keep in touch apart from Christmas and birthday, and they live a 4-hour drive away. I am pleased that we cleared the air, though.

None, ex MIL slags me of to DC (ex is there), threatened to kill me and wants to take me to court!!

The other way around here - I don't want to have contact with my ex-PILs (various reasons, not just bloody-mindedness, still in FB/occasional email contact with exH's siblings) but they are very determinedly still trying to be in contact with me.

They live 7 hours drive away, & since we have one older teenage dc who lives half & half with me & ex-H, there's absolutely no need for me to be in contact for them to see their GC. They also go round to my elderly & infirm DPs when they're in the area / phone them despite never having had any meaningful relationship with them over the 25 years ex & I were together.

As far as I can establish, they don't like OW that ex left me for, and would like us to be back together... would have more sympathy for them if it weren't for the fact they didn't like me while I was with their son. (OW also perfectly harmless, and a symptom of mine/ex-es problems rather than the cause.)

I'm actually glad to see that no/minimal contact with ex-ILs is really normal, and I'm not being U in not wanting to have a jolly family relationship with them ongoing.

I've only been married to my current Dh but I do have a DD from a previous relationship, I was only with him a couple of years but his parents were lovely and have always been lovely to me anytime I saw them since. Far nicer than him in fact!

Have been thinking about this exact thing recently. So pleased to find this thread. Generally they are being good I guess, offering to help with DC but sticking heads in sand to what their son has done, abandoning me when unwell, small DC, his new girlfriend. MIL just wants to think she is a friend. Like a PP the FIL is more cross about his behaviour. MIL has insinuated things that have hurt me, blamed me in a way.

This is actually one of the few things about my split that makes me sad. My ILs no longer send cards or anything to my DD at Christmas or on her birthday. I cannot get my head round this AT ALL and actually i hate them for it, and my ex-H for not giving out to them over it. But then they are weird and petty people so perhaps she is better off without them.

Non existent, they were both dead.

I exchange Christmas cards and birthday texts with my PIL and very close to my SIL still - she's in a different country but I stay at least once a year and new DP has been invited to come with me next visit. I did have a very amicable split with my STBXH though and I think that's the key to it. Sorry you're having a tough time OP xx

I cut contact. I thought it was best if everyone moved on. If I bumped into them I'd have a chat (they're very nice) but I wouldn't go out of my way to see them because they're no longer anything to do with me.

Grownup children obviously in full contact as they choose, I am happily free of idiot SIL and BILs. I miss my FIL terribly though as we got on so well, and I know he misses me, but it's too painful and confusing for both of us to meet (he's nearly 90). We exchange cards, he always sends me flowers on my birthday. The way XH treated FIL was a main driver for me divorcing him but it makes me so sad that in doing so I deprived FIL of my protection

My ex in-laws don't speak to me at all. Yet they are all great friends with the woman he was seeing after me after they have split.

Meh. Don't give a flying fuck tbh