Hi everybody
Thanks for this great thread
Can somebody give me some common sense / a kick up bum
Broke up with long term partner 18 months ago
I was spectacularly hurt, dumped , cheated on and betrayed
Lost my adored “ step children “;
Lost all self confidence etc etc
I got over it
Got myself back into shape physically and mentally
Recently dipped toe into OLD waters .
I am mid 40s
Only breadwinner and only parent to Ds 13
Self employed and have to work a lot to provide bacon
I love my kid , my amazing family and freinds and have a great “ babysitting “ network if I am organised and respectful of their plans
I am mostly free to date evenings and weekends
After over a year of no sex I would like to meet a nice guy. A boyfreind to date, go to the theatre with, be a plus one etc . Don’t need a ring , just a bit of give and take, a bit of sex for heavens sake
Some flowers etc
Companionship
Not always sleeping alone and not having hugs
Absolutely nobody I have spoken to online ( bumble and tinder) has appealed .. I admit I have always compared them to my ex who I adored . They just all seem bald and damaged and resentful of exes ( all exes are mental apparently )
Recently started talking to a guy
I used to work in same industry as him so I get the restrictions of it
He is away a lot for work
So we have mutual acquaintances ( made me feel safe )
For 3 weeks we chatted and he made me laugh , exchanged photos of our lives and kids and he seemed to get me . It was a daily chat instigated by him
Great banter and we told each other our histories
But fixing a date seemed impossible ..he kept asking me to meet up during the day as he wanted to be with his kids weekends and evenings he home
He doesn’t live far from me
But he is away a lot with work
When he is home he wants to see his kids evenings and weekends he says
Yesterday we had an evening date planned . Our first actual date
He cancelled as he was called out to fly abroad for work
I initially said “ no worries fly safe “
Last night though I got pissed off .. I sent him a message saying “ why can you only do lunches during the week ,I did tell you this was really tricky for me, I am the only breadwinner and I work during the day ,but I am free 6 evenings and most of the weekends , I get you want see your kids when you home and I totally get your job having done it myself for years but could we compromise “
He has read it and ignored
I sent another message apologising
Saying I would clear my diary Next Thursday evening or next Friday for lunch and I was sorry for not understanding
He ignored this
I feel shit
Like I am a bunny boiler
Put in the “ mental bin “