Exactly how I feel. I think what it really is, is that we hope that they are affected like we are and that they would WANT to reach out. Because they still haven't after 6 months we feel hurt and our pride/ego is knocked. Did we really mean nothing to them?
That's when you want to text them. It's almost just mirroring what you wish they would do.
You need to remember WHY you are NC with him. Clearly he wasn't nice to you for you to feel the need to stop contact. Clearly his lack of reaching out/making an effort since shows that he didn't care/respect you enough to get you back.
It's horrible. I have days where I struggle too. Especially as mine actually did send me some texts last month, one even telling me he missed me, and then I blocked him. Truth is, he lives 10 mins from me and for months I've heard nothing.
Being single is lonely, but what's worse is dating someone who makes you feel worthless and treats you badly.
You KNOW you deserve better, that's why you walked away. Just know that it's okay to miss someone, but it doesn't mean you go back to them. If he had little respect for you before you went NC, think how little respect he'd have if you went back - I learnt that the hard way with my ex.
You can't control your thoughts, you can't control your mind giving you the urge to message him. What you can control is how you respond to that urge. If you just realise that in time the urge will pass, then you know you'll be ok.
Focus on YOU. Have you got goals set in place for next year? What are you doing this evening? If nothing, why not light some candles, run yourself a bath, watch a nice movie/read a book, have an early night. Anything that makes you feel a bit happier.
Just remember to focus on yourself now...because he clearly is focusing on himself!