Recurrent miscarriage

[Weeza1]

I’ve had 3 miscarriages in the last year and one 4 years ago...and seen heartbeats for all of them but lost them around 9 weeks. The last two happened in quick succession, in June and then again in November. I had surgical management last week for the last one. I feel absolutely devasted.
My partner has now said he doesn’t want any more children, he is 45 and I’m 41. He switched off from the last pregnancy...he told me last night it was because he couldn’t bear to think of going through a loss again so soon as he was hurt so much by the one in June.
He now says he’s too old for any more children and I just don’t know what to think. I’m not sure whether I’m prepared to draw a line underneath it all and not have children.
Initial blood test show there are some abnormalities with me, and i’ll Have more tests after 6 weeks to see what the issues are.
My emotions are all over the place, and I really don’t know what I want....I can’t bear the thought of getting pregnant again and losing it. And also aware my partner doesn’t want any more (he already has 3 boys whom I’m step mother to).
I just don’t know what to do; whether to leave but question whether I will meet anyone else at my age of 41 (the biological clock is ticking). I also don’t know the reason behind these recurrent miscarriages...I really can’t bear the thought of losing another one.
My head is all over the place and I just don’t know what to do...whether I should go and start afresh

I'm do sorry for what you've been through OP. For now I would focus on having all the tests done and establishing if there is a cause for this, and what the treatment is. Don't talk to your husband about trying again at this stage. After the tests hopefully you will have a treatment plan and I would hazard a guess that then he may be willing to try again, as if you have a treatment plan it would be a shame to then not try again. Don't throw away your relationship if it is otherwise a good one, take things one step at a time. The first thing to do is to be properly investigated and diagnosed, then you can try again. Best of luck.

I'm so sorry for your loss

I too have had many miscarriages and can understand your partner's reluctance to go through it all again. We have decided after 6 losses not to try again but we are lucky to already have a healthy child.

It's good that you're going for further tests. Maybe you'll see things a bit more clearly after that?

If your last loss was very recent, you could well still be suffering from hormonal ups and downs. Please be extra kind to yourself.

Thank you for all your kind words and advice, I’m very grateful for them. I’m also sorry for you losses too.
As you say I shall look after myself ; get myself back on my feet mentally and physically and get to the bottom of these tests and take it from there. Thanks you x