Falling out of love

[Blawrence1]

Hi is it possible to completely fall out of love for somebody even tho they loved you more than anything in the past. We've been together 14 years have 3 kids. I've always loved my wife immensely but have let her down before and not done the little things that matter. She now has told me that's it she feels nothing for me at all and doesn't want to either. I'm completely broken and want nothing in the world but her, she knows that I would make the rest of her life amazing making her feel like anything is possible. She believes me what I say but just says she can't and she feels nothing.. Is this a thing that time could possible heal?. We've decided for the kids to stay together in the same house till after Xmas so im sort of treating it as my last chance to win her back but I'm finding it awfully hard, every time i look at her i well up and start telling her everything i said 30 mins earlier and its probably making my situation worse with her. Sorry for waffling on but it feels like it's helped a bit.

Yes, it is possible. It sounds like you have maybe been unfaithful previously? Or something else?

Unfortunately, love is demonstrated by actions, not words. So now it might be too little, too late.

And you admit that you have not taken her needs on board in the past, by not doing things that are important to her.

You could ask her if she would go to counselling with you, but if she has lost her feelings for you she might see it as pointless.

If the love is gone it’s gone. It sounds to me like you’ve lost her. I’m guessing you’ve taken her for granted for a long time. In my experience love does not disappear overnight. It’s a gradual chipping away probably due to a number of things. She’s probably tried to put this right a number of times before it got to this point. You didn’t listen. You’ve probably promised to change before and haven’t. I don’t believe there’s any going back. She won’t believe your promises of a rosy future because she doesn’t trust you to meet her needs, you’ve disregarded them before. She doesn’t trust you.
Let it go. Don’t beg, hide your hurt if you can until you separate as this will be awful for both of you. Don’t behave in a way that will lose you her respect