What is this??? Mil behaviour that baffles me

[Mummydearest12]

Ok so mil is very difficult generally. I am trying my best but her newest slight is to seek me out if we are in a group or sit next to me at meals- ask me questions and then as soon as I say a few word turns and completely ignore me . If I then turn away and talk to somebody else she will repeat the question and sometimes listen to the answer or sometimes just turn away again. I am not going on and on as I sometimes haven’t yet even open my mouth... I feel like she is daring me to be offended- is that crazy?

She's damaging stuff in your house? Sounds like a major issue. Don't have her round and if she asks you something, only listening to the first few words, then your first few words are going to have to be "Pointless telling you, you won't listen". Be brave, try it!

I dunno about a list! But if she sees something new or nice in the house she will damage it ‘accidentally’

Seriously! She is batshit. Why do you see her at all?? Sounds like she has been indulged in this ridiculous behaviour all her life

Start giving one word answers to every question then immediately turn away. If she repeats the question then give the same one word answer. She’ll soon get fed up if you play her at her own game.

My mil can never say anything nice. For eg dh learnt to drive later in life and she said Whats the point you can't afford to run a car? We can.
I got a part time job after 2 years being out of work, when she found out asked where and just grunted.
Recently I've lost weight. She noticed asked how much I said just over a stone and she said hmm and looked down her nose at me.
Dh has done a degree in computing and is desperately looking for a job her response well there are kids out of school more employable..

Thanks All I was starting to wonder if it was normal or something.....

Sounds like it is yet another one of her PA games. Definitely not normal.

Meals seem to bring out the worst in my [PA] in-laws too. Maybe because people can't just up and leave easily? We actively avoid meals with them now (not least because they seem incapable of going longer than 20 minutes without gossiping/shit stirring/being PA so a meal is too long to manage).

Yes! @kingsScorn that’s exactly true with them regarding meals - we try to avoid them too. I think your theory is bang on!

She's trying to get a rise out of you, embarrass you, don't let her! Simply smile broadly and treat it as you would if a five year old acted this way.

Start grumbling that you hate diamonds. "SO wasteful - and the violence in their extraction! Why would anyone ever wear them now they know the background?! I want to set the children a better example." Remove engagement ring (temporarily, natch) to emphasise.

Hey, it's worth a try!

Sorry you're coping with this. She sounds awful.

She damages stuff in your house? That’s proper crazy. What does your DH say about it?

Seriously, if she was doing that in my house, she wouldn’t be let in again.

My “D”M has been caught out being horrible about my house, saying it’s dirty and untidy. I’ve found a very simple solution to her unhappiness with the imagined stat of my house, I don’t invite her around anymore. It’s cut down the time I have to spend with her enormously

Woah how weird of her! What kind of things has she been damaging in your house?

@GailLondon Walls, carpets, candles, furniture.... once the paintwork on my car .... yes she isn’t invited to our home anymore ... never bothered explaining why... just stopped allowing visits.... its pretty expensive to fix the damage. We got our house recarpeted and she ‘accidentally’ dripped a drink all the way from the kitchen, hall, stairs and into our spare room

Do we have the same mother in law?
She’ll ask me a question and after a few words of my response she’ll zone out and look around the room completely disregarding my answer.
She’s bloody infuriating.
She’s always done it though.
I put it down to her asking me a question as socially she knows it’s the norm to make conversation, but she just cannot be arsed to listen to my response and can’t even pretend to be interested in what I have to say.

Mine does this. Do it back.

My MIL does this to everyone

Wow! She sounds truly horrible.

If you fancy a laugh...Start pretending to be a bit hard of hearing. Say “Speak up” or “Sorry I didn’t catch that, could you repeat it?”.

Then she’ll look like a twit.

My mother does all of the things you listed. She has histrionic personality disorder.