Would you make contact with you DC dad?

[WWlOOlWW]

We split up 5 years ago (OW). DC was a young teen at the time. They saw each other for about a year regularly but after that and for various reasons DC stopped wanting to see dad.

There has been no contact except dad trying to contact DC occationaly (not enough in my eyes).

No abuse. DC had a good relationship with dad for many years.

DC is obviously much older now. I've had no contact with ex for 5 years - maybe the odd email in the early day but nothing in more recent years. He had my email address and I have his. He's never asked for information or a picture of DC in all this time.

Would you send an unasked for picture / let him know how GCSE's are going / how life is going for DC in general or just continue on as you were ?

Continue as i was. It isnt my responsibility to force a father to parent.

Id be claiming child maintenance though.

Yeh I would as nothing to lose and being the bigger person.
But I think lots would disagree with me to be honest! It could push him back into DS life which can only be a good thing

I'd let things continue as they are. Your dc is old enough to contact him if he wants. And during GSCEs is not the time to spark attempts of contact from the father. Have you spoken to dc about his dad lately?

Thanks for your thoughts.

He now lives in another country and doesn't pay maintenance.

I'm not sure it would force any contact. DS has blocked him on emails/FB etc and has a new phone number. He has ignored all attempts of contact from his dad.

I know it isn't my responsibility and he hasn't even contacted me to ask (But I think it's because he would expect a fuck off from me).

Why are you even contemplating this if your dc has actively blocked his dad from his life?

Maybe send a copy of the GCSE results when they come out with one line about future plans.

@bumbother

Not sure really. I guess because I wouldn't like to be cut out from his life and if I was I'd really like it if someone would keep me informed.

..and bum, Yes. Talking about his dad isn't off grounds at all. We speak about him every few months.

I suppose I don't want to be blamed for not keeping in civil contact.. in the future.

Why are you even contemplating this if your dc has actively blocked his dad from his life?

This

I also think this is a conversation you should be having with your Son, first and foremost

Your child is old enough to make that decision. Ask if they would like you to get in touch, but if not I’d leave it alone.

And what is the conversation that you're brave with your son every few months?

Your son must be what, 16? Why would you be expected to keep in civil contact when neither of them are pursuing it?

I get that maybe you are disappointed how things have turned out and that you wouldn't want it to happen to you. But your feelings aren't what's important here. Your sons are.