This was really rude right?

[Sighhhhh85]

Have a fwb situation with a guy I was seeing for a while relationship would work but we enjoyed sex with each other

Anyway he was out last night and he asked about coming over I wb jokingly and said ah did you not pull...he replied I have but have chose u.

Few messages back and forth where he admitted he hadn’t pulled 🙄 whatever so I asked him how long he’d be and he said it would be a good while yet (this was at 2am) I said I needed a time as I was getting tired...he wb half hour later and said ‘I might call’ I replied saying oh have you a better offer now and he wb ‘yea’ I said that’s a bit rude but fair enough

Then at 3am two messages accusing me of refusing to see him which I told him I didn’t refuse he changed his mind

Then a message at 5 saying are u horny????

I wb this morning and said that this fwb obviously wasn’t going to work as there’s no respect from him and he has wb saying how rude I am...wtf?!?!

It was really rude. I would be insulted.

I think the issue with FWB is that it is basically just sex so all the other stuff has the potential to fly out the window - like treating someone with the respect that you would usually get in a relationship.....

I have done FWB but tend to not bother anymore because it ends up leaving me feeling worse because I'm just not cut out for it and I'm not really able to separate my emotions from the situation.

My advice to you is to perhaps cut your losses, find someone who is worth investing your time in or at the very least shows you a bit more respect than this guy is doing......

X

P.s. - I have had a FWB+ situation that has worked really well for me in the past..... But there was mutual respect from both sides. So it can work, but this guy is not worth your time and effort. You are worth more than that xx

Sounds like he was trying and failing to look like he was in demand and playing hard to get.

Dear God.

Look with FWB the best arrangement is always "text me half hour before you want to visit, if I don't reply then I'm doing something /someone else."

From what you've said he sounds like a cock so it's probably best to bin him off anyway.

When we were seeing each other he would of made me feel I was being unreasonable in my expectations
But last night shocked me even for him really want to rant at him but refraining

Fuck it’s msde me feel
So crap 😩

I'm assuming he was drunk if he had been out very late trying to pull?
That's probably an explanation for his odd behaviour (if it's not normal). Explanation not excuse

His response was a bit rude, but if you had specifically asked him, And he actually had found someone else, and he was drunk, then answering honestly isn't that weird. He could have worded it better or lied and said something else but if he had been drinking then his judgment about that would have been pretty shitty

The 3am and 5am texts, though. That's just rude and weird! Does he use coke or other stimulants? Seems odd to be up until 5am unless he was out on a real bender. Not sure what he's on about you "refusing" to sleep with him. Even if you did...That's you right! No one has to sleep with anyone, And you're FWB, you aren't always going to drop things to sleep with him (I know you never refused anyway).

He just sounds rude and immature tbh

It should only make you feel crap if you went ‘hey yeah sure, wake me up at 4am and come round because you don’t want to have a wank and have no other option despite an entire evening spent trying to convince another woman to fuck you’.

You have self respect and know you deserve better. A FWB arrangement doesn’t mean respect and kindness goes out of the window (or it shouldn’t). Another one here who had a FWB+ type thing for about four years off and on between two LTR relationships. It can totally work and be a lot of fun if you’re doing it with someone who isn’t a total knob. Your problem here is that is what he is. Move on, you can do better. So sorry though, it feels so shit when it happens.

What does “wb” mean? (Just wb, not FWB)

Whatever it means - he’s an arse. You really want sex with this guy so much that you’ll put up with your sleep being interrupted by this crap?! A good FWB situation is where neither party forgets the F part.

Just think if he'd come round he'd probably have had a quick fumble, passed out and be snoring and hungover in your bed right now

Wank buddies

Good point from PP. It would probably have been pretty awful sex for you (again assuming he had been drinking and you're at home sober). No ta!

I think in this context wb means write back.

Thank you! I guessed the b=back, don’t know why the obvious write/wrote didn’t occur to me

If the relationship doesn't make you feel good I would just forget it.

Why are you ok with just being an option and not a priority?

He was wasted on a night out, why would you even want sex with someone too drunk to even make sense of their own texts?
I'd rather have decent sleep than be up in the early hours trying to make sense of this bollocks

FWB is just a total waste of time for women and this 'dreamt up by men' scenario doesn't work, there so many threads on here where women just end up feeling crap about themselves.

Agree with an earlier poster. Sounds like he was utterly sloshed. One glass of Rioja too many me thinks. Needless to say sober or pissed as a newt, he sounds like he’s a real gentlemen. I mean, the gold standard of awesome for women the world over. However did you resist him. Cue eye rolling. I’ve nothing against FWB, we all need what we need but I think you can find a better class of FWB.

It wasn’t rude - as a FWB he is free to be with whoever...
But two things I think contributed - - - he was quite drunk, so less than considerate

• your FWB boundaries aren’t clearly defined...

You need some clarity on - call/show up at a reasonable time... Rather than have me stay up.

Im trying not to judge! Let him go. P45.

I think this why it’s always best to hve an exclusive friend with benefits.