Hello all.
Can I first apologise about the length of this post, it is my forwt, and I do have a habit of rabbiting on’
Secondly, I signed up to Mumsnet 5minutes ago. I've always seen it as a site which gives great general advise but never specific personal advice. But I'm out of options and need some impartial and unforgiving advice. I don't want to say why, but I can't ask friends or family.
I am 31yo, I work in the city as a successful broker, and I own a ?house with my wife, who is 25. we are reasonably successful, enough to put Amy (7yo) through private school, even though it means Clare and I give up at lot, including clothes, holidays etc.
Amy, my daughter, calls me Daddy. I am not biologically her father, That one is a drunk and a drug addict and does not deserve her, despite us trying to talk him round.
So 10 years ago, I met my soulmate. She was a supporter of a rugby match I was playing, and i still remember being captivated by the very first site of her, although at the tomek was too shy to talk toher
I remember how devastated I was where when i found out that she was pregnant, without really knowing why.
It was only when fate threw us together again, 2-3yrs later, did I finally summon up the courage to tell her how I felt. Annoyingly that fate also happened two weeks after a break up of mine, so although it obviouslywasn’t , she Always felt she was rebound, when in fact it was just luck
Her then 2 year old daughter and me stuck such a strong bond that I don’t even think of her as not my daughter. In my view Her biological father gave up his incredible right to fatherhood when he started dealing drugs and not paying towards her wekfare.
Amy got put into a state school that was by far the worst in our area by a long shot. Despite she being in her early twenties and me I ny mid twenties I said let's go for private education instead,
I never thought a second aboht paying for thjs, she already meant that much to me,
Fast forward a few years and we are now married and have. Mortgage and my daughter calls me daddy.
Problem is this. I have learnt I am a great father, but a sh*t husband. Ive never cheated or tried to, but my work makes me travel more than id like to which does not help. I find lying about little things naturally easier than difficult truths. My sexual needs are more regular than hers, I know im far from perfect.
And she wants out. And I will lose my daughter; Who I cant live without and considers me as her daddy after the crap shes been through.
Finally, my question is, as a stepfather who has no biological rights. Do I never give up with my soulmate or do I realisebshe doesn’t love me as much as I love her, even to the detriment of my beautiful daughter.
Yours,
S