Help me feel normal

[an1997]

I recently got out of a year and a half relationship with a guy. Our relationship was pretty awful with constant arguing, cheating, phone smashing, wall punching, dangerous driving, lies and threatening suicide. Our relationship ended just before I had our son 8 weeks ago and since then he's given me hassle since day one, getting a lawyer and trying to take me to court for custody. It's all pretty messy and has been really stressful.

Despite all of this I still love him, I still think of him and hate the way it's turned out. I live in lala land and think of him being a good dad and hating the thought of him ever getting with someone else. I feel crazy for thinking like this, why do I still want someone that treated me so badly and really doesn't care about me at all. He never really brought any good to my life apart from my baby and he's even managed to make all that a negative experience.

I guess I just want some reassurance that this is maybe a little bit normal, to still feel like this about someone that was a bit abusive.

I guess I just feel like no one is ever going to love me now. I'm young with a baby, my life isn't exactly peachy and neither is my body anymore. I just feel like any guy will look at me and just see a hassle now.

Do you feel that this loser is last chance saloon, maybe? Don't be silly, you're young, your body is still suffering from the birth and it will probably take at least six months to fully recover. No man worth his salt will be put off by one DC. I know a woman who had three and then went on to have three more with a new dp. They've been together now for 1- years.

Seventeen years

I think it's just cause he was the first guy I've ever loved I can't see myself loving anyone else, even tho I know I will. That's reassuring to hear.