How can I find out what DP is up to?

[vanillasky1001]

DP is a gambler. I thought he’d been good for the last two years but money is going again. I opened a letter this week chasing outstanding payments on a loan I didn’t know he had. He’s also pawned things. If I throw him out, he has nowhere to go and we have two small children. I’d like to know what the scope of it is before I decide what to do. Is there any way of finding out any other loans he may have taken out?

Oh gosh i’m not sure how you can find out - bumping in case anyone can help with some advice for you. What about your house is that all ok? Perhaps citizens advice may help?

OP - if you don’t throw him out - yo may not have much left in the house one day.... Or, something worse if he owns money to some seedy people - do you want your kids to be used as a blackmailing leverage?

Him not having a place to go isn’t your problem.
Gambling is an addiction. He is clearly off the wagon if he is taking loans and pawning things.

Apart from checking his bank account I don't think there is any way of finding out. My DH has a gambling addiction too so I understand how you feel. He has only been stopped for a couple of months and I'm struggling to trust him. Is there is a possibility the letters are for an old debt and he hasn't fallen off the wagon again?

Credit report? Middle do a free one I think.

Middle? Sorry, I meant Noddle.

If you have a joint bank account call them and ask if any unusual payments have occurred. Also be prepared to be honest about why you’re asking. Perhaps you could ask for a new account to be created with all your usual direct debits etc but no cash or withdrawal allowances for your DH. Can you also do a credit check on him? Use Experian or similar? Chances are that his credit history is impacting on yours so you need to make sure he isn’t taking out loans etc in your name... check your own credit score also.

I lived with a gambler for 7 years and never knew the extent of it till I finally kicked him out. In hindsight I should have ended it years before but I believed all his lies ( no experience of gambling addiction) that he had changed/stopped etc. The proof for me was when he wouldn’t attend the Gamblers help group that he found. I kicked him out. 4 years later, he’s skint, and lives with his sister, still gambling, and every now and then, messages me, asking for money!!

Are you married? If you order a credit rating report, all credit instruments on your name should come up. Not sure if you can access your spouse's but at least if it is only on his name and not joint, you have some chance to make him exclusively liable for it

Also if you have a joint mortgage and you need to renew soon, all your loans will come up. Or can you "shop around" and force a preapproval or something of the sort that would trigger a financial institution to check on your debt?

Get his credit report.
Not sure how legal or not it is to access someone else's file but its doable.

If you have a joint mortgage any loans or credit cards he has requested will definitely show up on a credit report requested under your name.