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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner dosnt understand my pain

30 replies

Paddington23 · 17/11/2018 17:33

Had painful periods for years since I was about 14 been told I had endometriosis for a long time but no official diagnosis. In the past couple of years it’s been so bad but I worked for myself and did two days in a shop working 10-4.30 and living at home with my mum. In January this year I had an operation and they found loads of endometriosis and removed it all apparently. Since then Ive still been in tons of pain taking codine nearly every day. At the moment my ovaries are in constant sharp pains every day I’m sick with migraines 2 times a month my tummy and lower back hurt every day and to top it all of I seem to have issues with exhaustion on a daily basis. this was all manageable when We lived at home with my mum I was working less and didn’t have any real responsibilities. We’ve now moved out six months ago I’ve started a new job and still got bits to sort out. House is always clean but needs organising problem being is that I’m exhausted from just getting to work so as soon as I’m home all I do is painkillers heat pack food bath and bed I try and do little bits every day but it’s a massive struggle. On the weekends I just want to chill out partners offered to help but his idea is to just Throw everything away I haven’t got a lot of stuff left any more I chucked out loads when moving in. But he seems to call me lazy and state that we moved in 6 months ago this Gould all be done by now last weekend I went to the cinema to see a friend I hadn’t seen in months he got all huffy saying that I could of sorted out the house. She picked me up with my heat pack and I sat in the cinema no real effort but even that wore me out. My pain has increased so much in the past year I’m trying to get him to understand. I’ve considered leaving my job so I have some energy to sort the house out.

OP posts:
BundyLancroft · 18/11/2018 14:54

OP, you've got 100 times more on your plate to deal with than he has. He needs to step up. If he won't then honestly, ask yourself what are you getting from this relationship?

At least if you separate you'll be away from his selfish whining and rest when you need.

Nobody ever died thinking they wish they had spent more time cleaning the house.

Badliar · 18/11/2018 15:05

Are you renting op or have you bought together?

Babymamamama · 18/11/2018 15:09

If you don't want children at the moment have you tried contraceptive pill or injection. For me that masked pretty much all symptoms until I came off contraception. It's a dreadful illness you have my full sympathy.

SinkGirl · 18/11/2018 15:18

Why are you still in such pain? Have you been back to see the consultant? You can’t do on in such pain but your partner isn’t entirely unreasonable either. It must be tough for him too.

Because she has endometriosis, it’s incurable and it’s fucking painful.

OP, I was diagnosed with endo 14 years ago - then ME, then Adenomyosis then fibromyalgia. This disease wrecked my life, had to stop working full time at 29 after working bloody hard and trying to keep going as long as I could.

You need a good surgeon who specialises in excision. The team at the John Radcliffe in Oxford are fantastic - you can be referred from anywhere in the UK and they understand the disease. I’ve had six surgeries in total now but out of options really.

Make sure you’re on some form of hormonal contraception to limit your periods. My DH struggled to accept it for a long time but he’s very understanding now.

Paddington23 · 18/11/2018 22:30

I’m on the injection but it’s giving me month long periods and the pill made me sick every day and way too dizzy to work

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