Don’t know what to do about this money

[FrankieGmumof3]

Me and H had a break from our relationship as I found messages from another woman, I stayed in the family home with our 3 kids, and was adamant that was it and so applied for benefits to help me out with paying for everything, I do work as well,
Although it’s been really difficult and I’m still not 100% certain it’s the right thing we decided to gives things another go, I can’t just walk away when there is marriage, mortgage and 3 kids, but here’s the problem yes I work, but I don’t earn very much as it’s part time around the kids, And H earns In two days what I do in a month, he pays the majority of the bills not all but does not give me any money when it’s needed for shopping etc or if he does it’s with a fight and it’s hard work so stupidly I have not cancelled my benefits it’s only been 2 months but I really don’t know how I would survive without them as I feel like a lone parent I still struggle like a lone parent but I know morally it’s completely wrong I just don’t know what to do please don’t judge

If he’s moved back in your need to cancel the benefits because if you don’t you’re breaking the law. I completely get where you’re coming from but for the sake of a few k is it really worth the possibility of going to prison?

Your commuting benefit fraud, you need to cancel the benefit claim. You risk being in a lot of trouble when you get caught

This is a complete no brainer. Get it cancelled ASAP. If your husband is not supporting his family the way he should be, then you leave him again, and claim legitimately.

Thank you doing it right now

Either tell him to leave or stop your claim, you are fraudulently claiming and will be in the shit when discovered. I know for sure that Tax credits carry out compliance testing and if he's financial stuff is pinned to your address it will show up.

I can’t just walk away when there is marriage, mortgage and 3 kids, but here’s the problem yes I work, but I don’t earn very much as it’s part time around the kids, And H earns In two days what I do in a month, he pays the majority of the bills not all but does not give me any money when it’s needed for shopping etc or if he does it’s with a fight and it’s hard work so stupidly I have not cancelled my benefits it’s only been 2 months but I really don’t know how I would survive without them as I feel like a lone parent I still struggle like a lone parent but I know morally it’s completely wrong I just don’t know what to do please don’t judge"

I wont; judge you, some women in financially abusive relationships do resort to claiming as you have done to get money. He is certainly financially abusive too. What actual access do you have to any money here from him?. He is also using money to further trap and control you.

You have a choice re this man, they do not. You can divorce this man even though there is marriage, a mortgage and 3 kids to consider. What are they learning about relationships from the two of you here. Is this the role model you want them to learn from, no it is not.

Ultimately you need support from the likes of both Womens Aid and the Rights of Women (they are good on the legal side) to leave your abuser, a person who has also cheated on you as well. Womens Aid number is 0808 2000 247; do call them and plan your exit from this marriage asap. Its well and truly over anyway because of his abuses of you and in turn these children.