Tinder is shit

[SparklesAndUnicorns]

Anyone else!? I am on tinder and in all honesty it is a pile of crap and makes me feel awful about myself, I have so many matches yet I've spoken to less than half because people don't even message to say hi these days apparently, the others that I've spoken to I've either spoken to for like five minutes and got nothing from it or the ones who I've got numbers from and spoken to for longer have gone absolutely no where. It's like people have no respect for others feelings when online dating, I'll speak to a guy for a good few weeks it will be going well and then he will fall of the edge of the planet or I'll be in the middle of a conversation with someone and they just never reply. Worst are when you set up a date and then it never actually happens because they cancel last minute.
I don't know if I'm picking the wrong man or what but I'm at the end of my tether, I don't want dick pics or to just swipe forever but that's all I am getting from this! I've deleted it about 50 times and reinstalled when I'm feeling lonely or I have recovered from my last bad experience. I don't get out much so I'm heavily relying on online dating and I just feel like it's a never ending circle of disappointment.

I don't know if I'm picking the wrong man

Do you have a type you go for? Maybe think about that and try different guys?

Any woman I chat to dating apps I'll not mess about, I'll want to meet pretty soon so as not to drag it out too long and I've never stood anyone up or changed plans last minute.

Sparkles
I'm getting the same experience as you. Dick pics, messages saying "let's meet this day" when we haven't even chatted. I don't want to meet someone just after "hi, how's you" etc.
It's awful. Worst is the men saying they are 45 but are clearly 60 plus.

Have you tried any other OLD apps? I never used Tinder myself because I had heard awful things about it from other people, much the same as you’ve described. There are other free ones but I think paid sites are better because people take it more seriously.

I'll speak to a guy for a good few weeks it will be going well and then he will fall of the edge of the planet

Tinder isn't really designed with the intent of messaging for weeks without any prospect of meeting up. You might do better with a true dating website like POF or OKCupid or something if that's the timescale you're working on.

Or just meet up sooner. Like, within a week or two, max. Obviously somewhere public, somewhere safe, not too late at night, making it clear from the get-go that this is just an introductory "Hi" date and not a "We're gonna have sex" date. This might also help because you've got far less invested between first contact and finding out you're not compatible.

Tinder is full of other people's crap ex's or current partners.
Men don't use it to date properly but for entertainment and attention.
It's BS.

Halloweenallyearround

Everyone is someone's crap ex.
If they weren't, they wouldn't be single.. lol

I have tried other apps and sites like POF bumble etc etc I get the same outcome, I don't even really have a type anymore it just feels like no one wants to get to know me anymore it's either totally pervy messages or men with no agenda. It's getting boring pretty fast
I am 25 and I'm feeling like a lot of men my age maybe aren't ready for a single mum with two kids but the older men aren't even that great it's like they've joined a dating site but are complete commitment phobes

Sethis I have tried initiating dates sooner I don't talk to someone forever with no plans of meeting them but 99% of them are either in it for quick sex or actually completely chicken out. I would rather get a date done so we can see if we are actually compatible sooner.

I actually had some guy plan a date with me and then when I text him the night of he didn't reply completely ghosted me, totally put me off obviously and then a few days later he Snapchats me a dick pic, where do these men come from!? Safe to say he is blocked and deleted but just one example of one of the lovely people I've come across on my online dating journey -_-

Well I can recommend POF I met wonderful man there 4 years ago, now we are happily married with 2 month old daughter :)

Oh god it sounds awful! I tried it for a few days but I didn’t get on with at all. Prefer POF for filtering out the dross and at least ending up with a vaguely decent selection to talk to.

I think the trouble with Tinder (well all OLD sites really, but especially Tinder) is that the men see it as a hook up site while the women see it as a place to meet the one! Generalising of course, but in the main I think men have a ‘kid in a sweet shop’ mentality about online dating while women seem to want to actually connect with specific people, even if just casually.

I know everyone usually recommends a paid site like Guardian soulmates or something, which makes sense.

Aw don’t give up. I met DP on tinder, 3 years later we’re still together with a baby and another on the way.

Going to disagree as I love Tinder. But I'm not on it for relationships. I have on my profile if you aren't going to bother saying anything, fuck off and swipe left. This gets rid of a lot of idiots. I also have something on my profile saying let's be realistic, I'm going to connect more than you simply because there's a lot of hungry guys out there, and realistically I'm not going to fuck everyone. So don't bother asking when we can fuck, unless you want to fuck yourself.

Before we move on from there I tell them if they want to send pics they can, but don't be offended when I send back ones of ex lovers. This gets rid of some. And the idiots that still send me some, I have some pictures of huge dicks that I send back. They really don't like it haha.

I find being really firm with them works. They ask what I am on there for I tell them straight. I'm here for men, not silly little boys who want to play games. If they are genuine, they stick around. If not, awesome saves me time.

Age isn't an issue. I'm a single mum and I attract a lot of guys in their late 20's. They would still months later happily be exclusive if I said yes.

@theworldistoosmall I love the sound of your profile. I may have to steal your words :-)

Go for it. They like females who take control, who know what we want and aren't afraid to tell them. They want sexually liberated.
And the ones that don't like it, well, fantastic. They can go and leech off someone else (have had chats with these ones and they are the cocklodgers in disguise)

@KlutzyDraconequus So true lol

I found one way to quickly weed out the jokers was to swop phone numbers and have an actual conversation quite early on. Speaking on the phone at about 6 or 7 also weeds out the marrieds.

I wouldn't dare go on Tinder. Bumble is bad enough!

I met my fiancée on tinder a couple of years ago, so don't think it's bad 😉 One thing I did learn is that if you go beyond 2 weeks from chatting to meeting up it will never happen, partly because people are often chatting to multiple people at the same time. Yes there are lots of dickheads (and dick pics 😱) but I also got that on match, PoF and eharmony, so think it's less about the platform and more about the type of bloke you are interacting with

"Kid in a candy shop" when it comes to men old is a fallacy. Most men are lucky to get any replies

If you can't meet within a week of chatting then don't even bother using the app until you know you have some free time coming up. I always stop using it when I know I'm not going to be kid free for a while.

My advice would be to stay off dating sites completely. They are fun for the first part but would want to start speaking to someone who is also speaking to several other women with a view to date?

Personal choice and I am a bit of a hypocrite as I met my dp on tinder but if I ever split up with him I’d get myself out there and meet someone in person and not go through sites

I've tried Tinder, Bumble and POF and I found Tinder the worst one. Anyone who has actually met their partner on Tinder has literally just been lucky in my opinion. I had the exact same experiences as you. I matched with loads but I'm lucky if 1 in 10 actually messaged me.
I found POF the best one (which isn't saying much). I had a tongue-in-cheek funny profile which pretty much made it clear what I'm not interested in and I think this put most of the idiots off even messaging me.
I tended to only reply to men who sent either a funny or interesting message (even if I didn't fancy them). I started to see which guys were time-wasters early on and became way more picky in who I replied to.
That said, I'm still single but if I was to try OLD again, it would only be POF. Bumble was no better than Tinder and I rarely got replies or conversations were short and came to nothing.