Is it totally wrong to pursue this?

[twattymctwatterson]

Man I've known (although not well think school acquaintance) for many years and have connected with on social media recently. I've had a bereavement this year and he lost his wife a little over a year ago. We're talking regularly via private message. All quite platonic, although he's quite complimentary and seems very kind and lovely. He's late 30s with young kids. Is it far too soon for anything romantic for him do you think? I'm scared to flirt in case it's the wrong thing to do!

I probably wouldn't 'flirt ' over massage given the current situation.

He is very young to have lost a wife so I'm assuming it was something unexpected (illness or accident possibly). You also mention a recent bereavement so maybe he sees you as someone to vent to who knows how he is feeling.

Maybe ask him to go for a coffee. You'll get more of a feel of whether there are romantic intentions or if you are a sounding board. Then see how it goes from there.

Oh Lord. I obviously meant message. To flirt over a massage is fine!

yeah it just feels wrong to flirt. Yes it was an illness and his youngest is still a toddler- it's all so tragic. I'm a bit scared to even suggest a coffee tbh!

I’d go at his pace. If he’s interested let him show it.

Go at his pace, but don't assume it's too early. I'm in a young widows and widowers network and many start dating relatively quickly. The second year of being widowed is generally the toughest time though and he may still be very emotional and lost feeling.

I'd let him set the pace in this situation...don't start the flirting. Not for sexist reasons, but because he's a young widow with small kids and may not react well to it. A friendly, casual coffee request is fine though.