Ex's pregnant GF getting confused/purposely causing trouble

[MyShinyWhiteTeeth]

I get along reasonably well with my ex partner. He's difficult and I ignore most of his bad behaviour for the sake of our daughter. I've made it very clear to his GF that I never want to get back with him and that I am happy he has a new life with someone who is good with our child.

We got on well together and I preferred contacting her to arrange handovers. Since she's been pregnant she has started being difficult, getting confused and giving me the wrong details. It's been gradual but seems to be getting worse as the pregnancy progresses.

I'm starting to think this is deliberate. I feel a bit lost how to deal with it as it seems everyone thinks I'm being awkward, stirring up trouble and not making enough allowances for pregnancy hormones.

I also feel my child is being pushed out and is seeing less of her father.

I could do with a few pointers on how to deal with this.

I had been making sure I had text confirmation of change in plans previously with my ex. I'd stopped doing it with my ex when I started to make arrangement directly with his gf.

I'm going to start dealing directly with my ex via text.

The ex in laws did suggest whatsapp as a solution. They are very good and help out with child care when the ex lets me down. They keep muttering about hormones too.

I agree with the above suggestions - if you send a message saying 'all arrangements & changes to be by message' , and confirm any phone calls in a message, any accusation that 'you were told', fails if it's not In a message.
If your fear is that the confusion is deliberate, to exclude your DD, this won't help - but at least you'll know it's deliberate.

I would stick to making arrangements with HIM by text. Nothing else. If he doesn't make arrangements, he doesn't see DD. If he changes arrangements, it has to be by text. Keep it simple.

Somehow he's got two women running around after him. Being 'unreliable' has meant he gets to ignore all the work of having a child and yet get to see her at his convenience.

Maybe OW has been happy to help until now, but she shouldn't have to. Maybe it's becoming more of a burden now she's pregnant and she doesn't want to do it anymore. Its really not her job. Make arrangements direct with him, and if he doesn't bother he doesn't bother.

Why do the ex laws mutter about hormones? Why not mutter about their son being lazy?

I like the idea of a group what's app as everyone will be able to to see you opinion and no one will be 'confused' about anything. Everyone will see what is agree and who doesn't follow through.

WTF have hormones got to do with anything? I've been pregnant twice and didn't behave like a loon.

Blaming hormones is a crock of feckin shit and a cop out. You don't suddenly become incapacitate from being pregnant. She is choosing to be be difficult, choosing to exclude your child, and falling back on being pregnant as being an excuse. Should every female with an 'important' job have to stay home from the point of conception because oops- I've just lost the company millions, and titter about pregnancy brain? No. Start having everything in writing again. Make it clear. A what's app with exX his partner, and you would be ideal- then there can be no doubt. Although prepare yourself for the possibility that yes, your daughter is being phased out.

Bring his in-laws in too on the what's app- there are also shared diary apps you can get- so again it's clear exactly what is planned. You can mark off days there are things to do- and no one can be in any doubt.

I find it absolutely pathetic when a grown man needs his ex and current partner to facilitate his relationship with his child. Almost as pathetic as him is the new partner doing that for him. Perhaps she has realised what a shit dad he is and is trying to phase out your daughter in the hope that he will at least occasionally manage to focus his feeble, tiny mind on only one child - hers. Maybe not.

But, at the end of the day, your DD is his and I just wouldn't bother my arse if he doesn't. He is what he is, and your daughter will see that one day anyway.

She's given up working and I had this fear they'd try to go for full custody; my ex was very negative about my parenting when we first split up and said I wasn't well enough to look after her.

I have no fear of that happening now.

What part do hormones play in messing up contact arrangements? I've been pregnant twice more since splitting from exH and never managed to "forget" arrangements with our kids!

I understand your frustration over a set up that previously worked no longer working but..... his GF is not your DD's father and therefore it isn't her responsibility to manage contact.

This would be a perfect opportunity to take a step back, if he's not willing to make the effort then he's not willing to make the effort. The gf is a red herring, how can she be potentially responsible for pushing your DD out of a relationship with a father who can't be bothered? Your DD's dad is lazy, better she gets used to the reality of that then you and his current gf running around making allowances for the twat.

As for his family, detach, detach, detach. You will always be the bad guy because it's easier than confronting him, heir power lies in you giving a shit.