Boyfrend has left

[ICanDoItICan]

Hello mumsnetters

I'm looking for some advice from you all.

I came home from work yeeterday to find that my boyfriend had moved out. He had tidied and cleaned and was there to tell me that he needed som space. We live in a flat which I own. He rents his flat to his friend, who is currently away for a few weeks so he's gone there, which is nearby.

I think it'll do us bth good to have a bit of space and to consider our future. We're in our 30s. I have a good income so \i'm not worried about money in teh short term.

I'm going between wanting my own space and desperately wantingto speak to him. I normally don't enjoy my own company and like to be around others so suddenly living alone is a bit of a shock.

I'm woking from home today so haven't needed to put on a brave face at work, thankfully.

I suffer from mild anxiety sometimes, mainly brought on by disruption or uncertainty. I'm coping with the situation better tan expected.

He says that he loves me and cares for me but has been unhappy with life generally for a while. He struggles with his mental health a bit but holds down a good job. I think he's lonely and doesn't have a lot going on outside the relationship.

He says his aim is to come home but he's not cure if that's the righ thing to do. He needs space to think. When I'm anxious I desprately want to contact him but am keeping it in check for the most part.

Please, lovely mumsnetters, keep me sane while I try to get through the next few days.

Any tips for keeping myself distracted?

I'm seeing friends on Saturday and again on Sunday.

Op you sound as if you're doing really well so far.

Was it a complete surprise yesterday?

Thanks Indie.

Reading back my post (ignoring the typos) I sound a lot more together than I am. I’m scared of the uncertainty and how I’ll cope on my own.

I’m scared of coming home from work and he’s gone. He’s my best friend.

I just want to send you virtual hugs. Also, I know this doesn't help now, but I was devastated when my ex left as he was my best friend. Now, I have a new guy and a new best friend.

So it's possible, there will be more people you connect with if he doesn't return.

Thanks Ruby. It’s good to hear from someone who’s been there.

My situation isn’t as bad as many others. But it still hurts. The loneliness and uncertainty is like a knife twisting in my stomach.

I managed to keep busy yesterday. Had my nails done to cheer me up but was hard sitting across from a cheery stranger and trying to act normal. Spoke to him briefly yesterday. He wants things to work but has doubts about long term future.

Meeting friends today and having a relative to stay over later.

Trying to fight the urge to contact him.

I think that he has too much control here- being able to take time to decide whether or not he wants to come back, whilst leaving you waiting. I think he should be an adult and sit down with you to discuss what happens. A few nights away can sometimes be good head space but what if he does this again in a couple of months time? And again after that? Your mental health is more important right now. It’s your home and you should decide what you want (and if it is to stay with him accept this is something that could keep happening)- not waiting for him to throw you a bone.