Advice to give to my daughter (12)

[Sophilicious]

So my daughter started secondary school in September. Her dad has looked on her phone and seen that she may have a boyfriend, she has said that she doesn't but I've suggested to her that now would be a good time to have a chat about relationships and respect, just in case she does decide to start something.

I didn't get much relationship guidance as a young person, and left an abusive marriage (to her dad) five years ago.

I have learnt a lot over the years, from experience and mumsnet! What would you say would be good advice and guidance for her age?

We obviously have on going conversations and talk quite openly. I have remarried to a lovely man and she now gets to see a healthy relationship at home. We are going out at the weekend for some 1:1 time and I hope to talk to her more then.

Relationship quidance? She's 12! Just let her get on with it. They probably won't even talk to each other!

That 12 is way too young for a boyfriend or dating of any sort. She needs to concentrate on studying, hobbies and friendships.

12 is a great age for relationship advice BUT not so much actual relationships.

With my DC it happens naturally, we watch a TV show and discuss what we see. Anything will do: Futurama, The Kardashian's, Doctors, Harry Potter. Answer questions as they ask. Talk about your experiences. Gossip about school.

The key things are Consent and Respect, with a good dose of "not having to be nice".

I think you should approach this from the standpoint of friendship, not boyfriend/girlfriend, because truly the same advise applies.

Talk to her about what makes a good friend. A real friend would never try to pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with. A real friend is supportive and respectful, not jealous, controlling or vindictive.

Use condoms
Learn to punch (not slap)
Learn when to punch
Make sure you punch the biggest hardest bitch on your first day
When you've been kicked in the stomach and the wind knocked out of you, get up like it aint no thing

I mean I;ve got plenty more, but the above certainly would have helped 12yr old me.