Never getting married :(

[Whyarealltheusernamestaken]

After 15 years, I give in, I want it so much but it’s never going to happen...

I want to call him more than my boyfriend...

Don't change your name to his, wear a pretty ring or have a commitment ceremony. You're either married or you're not. Every week a new thread comes up and it's always the same. If he would give you everything, he would marry you. Right now he is giving you nothing.

He gives he gives me everything, just doesn’t understand why a married name means anything

I would marry in a park, no religion involved!

I understand what you mean. I’ve been married for 23yrs, and it means everything to me. I’m not religious, it’s not about that for me.

You have every right to feel the way you do. I would feel the same.

It means you can be next of kin, you inherit, you are protected if something bad happens to him, or if something bad happens to the relationship. It's not just church or state, it's a pretty fundamental set of protections especially for the lower earner, especially if you have given up earning potential to care for DC or do all the house admin, enabling him to be a higher earner. He gets a pension from doing all that, you don't. Men who just don't want to get a "meaningless piece of paper": well, if it's meaningless, surely there is no harm in getting it ... Good luck OP. Sounds hard.

He gives he gives me everything

Except the one thing you really want? If he was committed to you in the way that you are to him, there would be no downsides to getting married to give you what you want. Even if he personally 'doesn't see the point'.

He does realise the legal protection marriage give women doesn't he? ( of course he does.) Have you a house and kids together op?

What about the legal protections marriage offers? Have you spoken about those? With regards to inheritance, tax, the very dry and unromantic reasons for marriage? Things like, if he died suddenly, you would only be able to access half any joint funds and none of his sole assets until his estate was resolved, whether he has a will or not. Whereas married you'd be able to use all of any joint accounts. And so on.

If you have dc especially, it's worth getting some legal stuff in place.

Truely this isn’t a financial thing for the sceptics, I just find the title of
girlfriend weird after so long, and yes I want more, our money is shared, we both have normal jobs

enabling him to be a higher earner. He gets a pension from doing all that

Speculation.

My pension at this stage in my career is higher..not about that

I just want to feel unconditionally loved, is that pathetic?

Which do you want most - marriage or the relationship? I was in same position as you, and pregnant. Decided to separate as I could see we didn’t have same value of marriage, after a few months he came back to me. Been married now for 15 years and he says he’s glad now that I forced his hand!

And I’m out good night c

Civil partnership? It is practically the same
(Apart from adultery not being a reason to dissolve it, from my understanding) but will feel like less pressure for him as you don't have to have a traditional "wedding". You can get it done on the cheap with a couple or witnesses. Lots of people don't want a "wedding" as such, which is quite understandable.

Is your name on the mortgage? Do you have wills? If he left you tomorrow how and where would you and your children live?

I was going to suggest a civil partnership too

Well let's hope he never wants DC then because I wouldn't choose to have them with a man who wouldn't marry me. He might have shot himself in the foot here.

You don’t want marriage that much if you’ve stayed so long....

Marriage isn't unconditional love.

That doesn't exist between two adults. I adore my partner. But there's lots he can do that would stop me loving him.

Are you legally protected?

Another weird thread from the last 12 hours...

So he should be forced into marriage because if he loves her he'd give her what she wants. Words fail me.

What sort of basis is that for a marriage when one has to be forced into it and the other is happy to do that to them to get their way.

I'd advise my children to walk rather than be forced into marriage, huge red flag.