I was not close to my dad when I was a child. He is a difficult controlling man. When I was 27 he divorced my mum and met his new partner, a kind woman who seemed to help him with his emotional problems. During this period we had a much better relationship and he was close to his GC. His behaviour deteriorated dramatically when my mum remarried, he was aggressive and violent and his partner left him. He met a younger woman on line and proposed to her within a few weeks. When I suggested that this seemed a bit hasty and had he considered a longer engagement he attacked me and grabbed my face screaming abuse. I did not see him again other than to attend the wedding.
They married within 4 months and had a very elaborate wedding and honeymoon. This was 4 years ago and I have barely seen him since. His wife has 2 children and his focus is now his DSS who have learning difficulties. They apparently have challenging behaviour although they were very well behaved at his wedding and I had a lovely time chatting and playing with them, but they will not visit or go anywhere to meet. My dad has visited me 3x on his own.
He came and picked my 2 children up in the summer to take them to a theme park for the day but I found it very upsetting. He has just sent a text that reads:
"I am having a party on Christmas Eve. You are invited."
He lives 200 miles away and we won't be going on Xmas eve for many reasons but I have been teary since getting this text 2 days ago. Why am I so upset and how should I respond? I would like him to want to see me, which is pathetic, I know. All he has ever done is reject me. It all seems so fucked up.
Sorry it is so long.