Is there a psychological condition or similar where someone constantly (sometimes dangerously) minimises the severity of illnesses suffered by their family members?

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Not sure where to put this, but thought relationships might make sense.

Ex while we were together was regularly minimising any illness I suffered or our son suffered. Even when we were admitted to hospital he would moan to go home and make out the doctors and nurses were being “over cautious” .

Now I have discovered that despite the fact he had seen my son have two life threatening reactions to Cows Milk, he has somehow convinced his girlfriend that our son doesn’t have a serious food allergy and that he would be fine with the “odd little bit”. He recently tried to persuade my son to try some.

I think what I am struggling with is that this seems like a real pattern of behaviour. He is a good dad in many other respects but seems to minimise anything medical to the point I am really worried. And I wondered if there was a condition/ any suggested ways to improve his decision making on this aspect

This

I was at home in between hospital admissions for hyperemesis, he made it clear it was a total inconvenience that he had to look after our son during my hospital stay. He didn’t once get me a drink of water or a fresh bowl to vomit in. Just told me how stressed it made him. (especially the last sentence)

together with this:

The problem is I told those stories ina previous court statement and just got accused of “mud slinging”. DP is able to portray himself as very charming and likeable. When he wants to.

sounds highly likely that there is some presence of a narcissistic personality disorder. This can also occur in sociopaths (which doesn't mean "serial killers" - there are high functioning sociopaths who will never commit any serious crimes ) so be careful.

@loopytiles yes he was diagnosed with a severe (potential anaphylaxis) allergy as a baby and has had to have adrenaline administered twice. There’s no doubt as to the severity of his allergies other than in dad’s really strange mind.

My mother is like this and it has had some serious consequences recently as she has made a series of poor choices while taking care of my dying father. I am furious with her and only the threat of bringing in outside agencies has made her even address changing her behavior - she would hate to be 'exposed' as less than the perfect individual she presents. She is definitely narcissistic in many, many ways... but it took me years to work this out. A consequence of this is that I will never leave my children alone with her now as if something happened to them I wouldn't trust her to make a good decision about what to do....

That’s my worry, I really worry about him making the right decision if they are ill. I think they are quite vulnerable.
I am not sure if there is any way to “fix” someone like this? Could counselling help? I am not sure what I could sensibly propose to at least manage this a bit?

Is there a court order in place for contact?

If so can you take it back to court to raise these concerns.

I'd be personally wanting supervised contact because he can't be trusted and he knows his son has allegeries he just chooses to ignore it.

There is a court order, and I am going back to court so cafcass can review etc but I am just wondering what solutions there are