Dating - why do you think you are a catch?

[Sonjing]

Hi all, triggered by a different thread about dating and dating "leagues".

Some of the comments made think about the way we perceive our attractiveness and what aspects we judge ourselves and others by.

So if you think you are a catch in the dating world, what makes you feel that way? Is it your age, your looks, your body shape/ weight, your job, your wealth, personality or intelligence?

On the other hand, if you don't feel like you are catch, why is that?

Why the fuck would you want to look to an outside source to validate your sefl worth?

I’m not sure this is about having an outside source to validate anything. It’s about recognising the ways that you would be ‘a catch’ for anyone (I.e. your good points) regardless what anyone else thinks.

I'm not sure I am a catch. I'm striking (to a particular kind of man), not pretty. But my difficult childhood has given me a certain complexity that has made it hard to find someone who really fits the bill for me (which includes being overly fussy about who fits the bill!).

That being said, I'm very happy with who I am, so while at times I feel lonely, it isn't intolerable by any stretch of the imagination.

I should be a catch - I look young for my age (42), people say I'm pretty, I'm slim(ish), I'm a caring person, fairly intelligent, have a job, got my own place but at the back of my mind are my major drawbacks which I'm sure would put any man off should I actually tell them...

I have epilepsy & schizo affective disorder.
I'm always tired due to the meds.
I can't drink alcohol due to the meds.
The epilepsy is poorly controlled so I can't drive or be anywhere with flashing lights (so that rules out any gigs, clubs, concerts or festivals - I love live music so I'm gutted).

I never plan to admit to the schizo affective disorder & the fact I take high dose anti psychotics until, hmmm, well after my wedding day lol!!
The epilepsy thing is a bit harder to hide - what other reason do I give for not drinking, driving & working part time?? But when I've admitted it to a date the tone of the date has changed & I've not had another date with them.

There's a huge stigma attached to these health problems so just what do I do??

I'm really broody too which is not good!!

This is a fascinating thread. I read with great interest the many different positive things, BUT then always the put downs! We cannot even say why we are good people.

Anyway. We should be able to.

I also wanted to say that I'm 44 and met a man on tinder of all places, and I swiped left on him by accident, based on his hunky picture, and looked again but he was 36. I didn't delete him because I thought, if he asked to meet I'd say yes just to get a cuddle. I think that daters should should keep dating as there just may be that stranger who looks at you and thinks, Cor yeah. You just never know.