Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Divorce process started, advice on maintenance & assets please

3 replies

Angel000 · 14/11/2018 13:01

Hi, sadly my relationship of 20 years (married 15 years) is completely dead and we are now going through a divorce. There has been no major issues, except being completely ignored and unloved for most of our married life. Husband has never supported me when needed, and my needs and wants were hardly met. I have supported him through his ambitions and when needed. I have tried to resolve our issues, we tried marriage counselling but there was no effort at all from his part. I am not sure if he ever truly loved me tbh. I want to be loved and love back also to the fullest so feel it's time to move on in our lives. We have both agreed to divorce and needs want to remain amicable. We have 2 kids under 10 years old. We want to keep divorce simple and sort finances outside court to minimise costs.

Regarding maintenance, husband advises by law he only needs to contribute £150/m per child and nothing else. Is this correct? He's willing to contribute up to max £500/m in total, nothing else. He wants to have kids 50/50. He wants to sell our house so we both have funds to help us buy a house each, we are both looking for new homes within the same area so kids can still attend the same school. He said we should not touch each other's personal individual savings/pensions/inheritance. Is this acceptable and fair? Am i entitled to more?

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 14/11/2018 13:15

No, of course it's not fair.
Unless you have similar savings, pensions, inheritance.
Do you?
And he says now that he wants 50/50.
Who is currently the main carer?
Can he have them 50/50?
Does he work full time?
Do you work full time?
Did you sacrifice your pension to raise the children?

I think he's pulling a fast one.
Have a phone around in your area and see if there are any solicitors who would offer a free half hour.

Do you know what you partner currently earns?
How much do you earn?

Angel000 · 14/11/2018 13:30

Hi hellsbellsmelons, thank u for ur advice. This is the only relationship I have been in so it's my first break up and I'm v naive especially when it comes to finances.
I have no idea about his personal savings, inheritance and pensions, he works FT.

I also work FT, and have work pension. We both take care of our kids, he's more hands on as I work in the evenings often.

I have not touched my pension yet. We are both living separately but in the same house, looking to find new homes ASAP. He says he doesn't have much money and will struggle to contribute total £500/m but will do it for our kids. He's an excellent dad, crap husband.

OP posts:
bengalcat · 14/11/2018 13:32

See a solicitor

New posts on this thread. Refresh page