Drugs Money Marriage

[StrongWoman]

We've been married for double digits
No assets to our name
No kids
I have a good job and husband who has all the financial control to the point he's taken loans on my name and defaulted them and empties my bank account the moment I'm paid so crappy credit rating
He's also back on drugs
And I've managed to get him into counselling
Superficially we're a good couple who (un)forunately can't have kids
The thing is if i leave i have no support system (because family wont be able.to cope last time i tried leaving it didn't work they didnt help and no real friends) so where do i go
I'm nearly 40 and so tired... and trapped
Any advice would be helpful

Why does he have control of your money. I would definitely get a new account ASAP and get your money into there and then make plans to leave.

Because I'm an idiot and he created an online account just like taking credit cards and loans in my name online
I have gone to another bank for a new account
I'm confident and articulate outside at work but the moment i step foot into the house i become so stupid!
I can't hold my own and always feel like it's my fault and he always reminds me i have no one

Agree. Open another bank account and have your salary paid into it. Don't let him have access and have cards etc sent to work. I think there is something you can do to flag up your details with the credit agencies so further checks are done- but you might have to report the loans he has taken out in your name ( Its fraud !) I think CAB might be able to help.
Check your computer for key loggers etc and change all passwords.
If you really have no family who can help - could you go into a shared house or be a lodger for a while? Not ideal but might give you a start.

If credit cards can you contact them and say that you believe your password has been guessed and ask for a new one.
Women;s Aid might be helpful- it is financial abuse. It sounds as if he had undermined your self confidence as well

Womens Aid can also help you escape your abuser here. You are being financially abused by him too. Their number is 0808 2000 247

What he is doing here to you is regarded as a criminal act.

It was never your job btw to get him into counselling. He was never yours to otherwise rescue and or save.

Speak to Women's Aid, you are being financially and emotionally abused. Also you could talk to Shelter about housing options.

What would happen if you don't let him empty your bank account?

Are you joint tenants? How long has the tenancy to run? Can you give Notice to Quit?

Tbh, I'd look at getting a house-share as a temporary measure, to enable you to save for a deposit on a better rental, and build your way back up with that decent wage of yours.

Officially separate and freeze any joint accounts/remove yourself from them if they're in credit.

You've half your life ahead of you, don't waste any more of it on him.