Single at Christmas-Positivity Thread

[PerverseConverse]

This year I will be single at Christmas and I'm feeling positive about it (the guy was abusive and a manchild and I dumped him in March with the help of MN ) so wanted to start a positivity thread for those that are single at Christmas.

The positives for me are:

• I can decorate how the children and I want to without him pulling his face and deeming things tacky (they are NOT tacky at all but he hated Christmas things).

• I can love my real Christmas tree and not have any negative comments about it

• I can watch what I want in the evenings

• I can watch as many Christmas romantic clap trap movies as I like

• I won't be wasting £300 on an ungrateful manchild

• No one will detract from the time with my children by pulling pained faces at Christmas things

• I can buy food just for us and not have to worry about anyone else

• I won't have to justify my spending to anyone except myself

• I won't have to entertain him and his badly behaved and ill-mannered children on Boxing Day (nice kids but truly dreadful behaviour)

• I won't have to accept presents I really don't want so as not to appear ungrateful. I told him so many times what I'd like and he ignored me and bought what he wanted me to have

• I can enjoy a Christmas morning full of excitement with my children instead of with Scrooge

• I won't have to wrap his children's presents for him (why the fuck did I do that? You'll be pleased to know I've stopped enabling people to be helpless)

• I won't have to wrap my children's presents from him or buy them either

• I won't have to endure any sleepless nights due to him snoring

• basically this Christmas is all about my children and me!!

For me a massive positive is no MIL 😀. Haven't had one Christmas without stbxh's family since my DS's we're born and they all blend into one repetitive memory of hard slog in all honesty. They have completely embraced the OW though now and so I feel no guilt. Me and the kids will have a lovely relaxed day and I will be able to spend more time with my parents, who always seemed to get sidelined because they have other grandchildren whilst mine are ex-PIL's only ones.

Your post has made me realise lots of other positives too - thank you . If you had told me this time last year that I would be separated this Christmas I would have imagined I would have been heartbroken and lonely but I am actually really looking forward to being able to do my own thing and make my own decisions.

This is one of the times that im glad ex is absent as i dont have to split christmas with him and get to spend it alone with my kids not having to cook and clean whilst he lies there doing nothing!

diskdrive it will be lovely!

It was on the approach to Christmas last year that things really started unravelling with my ex boyfriend. He was so miserable about everything. He was a joy Hoover and knew how ambivalent I feel about Christmas yet did nothing to make me feel supported. I'll soon be divorced and for the past few years have had to share Christmas Day with my stbexh and that is horrible as it means I miss half of Christmas with my daughters. I also have a young son who has only ever seen his dad once as his dad isn't interested in him so whilst I get the whole of Christmas with him and don't have to share, there's the sadness there too that he doesn't have a dad. I'm down to one family member apart from my children as NC with the rest after a horrible childhood so it's sad. But I LOVE the anticipation and excitement and the wrapping and the knock of Baileys

This year I'm writing a list of activities to do that won't cost much and we will work our way through them. Making snowflakes, stained glass biscuits, gingerbread, cakes, popping corn and stringing it for the tree etc

I won't have to accept presents I really don't want so as not to appear ungrateful. I told him so many times what I'd like and he ignored me and bought what he wanted me to have

I wonder if this is common in controlling men. My ex would do the same and it wasn't about money. He'd spend way more than the things I wanted would have cost. But he never, ever bought me something I asked for.

I also like being able to eat what I want, watch what I want etc. I can enjoy a glass of wine without him calling me an alcoholic! I won't have to worry about him getting in a mood and ruining the Christmas period.

Christmas is definitely nicer without abusive assholes around!

to that!

Lord, I need this thread! I’ve just been dumped (by text) and I’m dreading Christmas with all the couples! You’re all amazing women xx

I won’t miss ex at all as I always did everything anyway every single year.

Ooh Ooh can I join too please ?!

I'm 4 years divorced but will never stop being overjoyed that I no longer have to see ex-ILS. Horrid horrid people.

I have my DC on boxing day this year, we alternate Xmas day, but I'm surprisingly OK with that as at least the time I have with DC is all lovely happy positive time, we just call it second Christmas and do all the same things but 24 hours later.

I'm 100% seconding that thing about crap presents that I hated from my ex-H. I swear he would buy stuff I hated on purpose... or at least the stuff he wanted me to want (slutty tops, stupidly high heels etc.).

I do envy happy couples at Xmas though. It's such an annoyingly romantic time of year, at least in the films.

Why is my life not more like a Christmas movie ??

It’s so stress free !! You can do what you want when you want. Fancy beans on toast not turkey then your choice. Spend the £300 on things you actually want. Put any decorations up , watch whatever telly you like. I was in a similar position to you and I really appreciate this freedom and it far out weighs any pangs I have being on my own. Hope you enjoy

Great thread.

I don't have to wonder if he will be nice to me or if he will get me a present.

The positives, no extra washing up
No one sitting around whilst I do everything
Can have what we want on the tv
Can play michael buble to my hearts content
No shoot em up Xbox games on the tv
Can but myself a gift that I truly want
No arguments
No mil or other toxic in-laws to ruin my day

So many positives!
No having to see horrid ils and spend a boring Christmas with them
No joy sponge hating me sing Christmas songs
No arguments over everything
No judgement over what I eat, even as he used to pig out
No shit presents I don't like
No spending hours and £££ trying to give him a present he always made me feel wasn't good enough
No having to slep around the shops on Christmas Eve helping him buy presents because he couldn't be arsed to do it beforehand
No having to sleep in other peoples houses and leaving the cat

Noooo.....this year I'm going to be.......

blissfully glued to the sofa, with my animals, tv remote, hotel chocolates and mulled wine and giving zero fucks with a big grin on my face (as long as Waitrose don't run out of free range turkeys!)

Am now trying to think what expensive present I can buy myself (stolen from pp) as I don't have to buy him one!

Oh can I join too ! First Christmas in 4 years without the bastard, and I am so looking forward to it.
We can have the tree the way we want it. He used to criticise the arrangement of baubles and ‘correct’ them (twat).
He too bought me expensive presents I did not like and I had to pretend.
The dinner was to be to his standards, never met obviously and then critised.
Then he got more pissed than normal with his fat belly busting out of his shirt and bored me senseless watching shit telly.
Ah the bliss !

Hope you all have a fab Christmas x

I’d buy yourself a diptyque candle @permana for starters to make the house smell beautiful, clearing the air so to speak