Heres my story, comments and questions very welcome!
We live in Sweden so employment is very difficult and laws are different. We have been married 11 years, together almost 14 years. Two sons 7 and 9 years old. I love my husband and want this to work. I want to be happy with him again. I want him to be happy with me. We had several good years. He is a quiet person by nature, so talking is difficult for him.
12/2017 I got notice I my loose my job. I took it hard and started spiraling to depression. I had been the 12 years and enjoyed it.
Husband started getting stressed with his work responsibilities. He slept only about 4 hours a night. He took over taking care of the house, the kids, everything. I would retreat to the bedroom to watch tv.
2/2018 lost my job. Had a really hard time coping. Got a 6 month temp job at the same company but different work.
3-5/2018 noticed husbands stress, but I could not help him. I was depressed myself and spent alot of time in the bedroom by myself.
7/2018 I felt husband had slipped away from me. I asked if he loves me. He said no, that he wanted a divorce. He left for the weekend, no contact. Came back sunday and said he wants a divorce, but did not leave.
7-9/2018 I left with the kids for a few days a few times. Husband was also gone a week a few times also. We fought many times. Also found out he had an emotional affair with a girl from work over 10 years younger. Lasted a few months. The affair consisted of texting on whatsapp alot and a few kisses, nothing more.
9/2018 I lived away for a month with the kids. Husband had limited contact with the kids, even though we were less than a mile away from home.
Also started new job, a very good one. Took me 8 months and about 1,000 hours of searching, applying and interviews. I crazy amount of time, i know. All this time was away from family and husband.
10/2018 I moved back home, because kids wanted to be home. Husband says its over with the work girl. He has taken very small steps to be nicer with me. We are going to counseling.
11/2018 First time after 4 months he finally has not said he wants a divorce when I ask where this is going. But said 'I dont think anyone knows where this will go in the end'.
We are in couples counseling, went in the summer and now we are going again.
Last night I was sleeping next to him, he was still awake and didnt realize I had woken up. I saw the passcode to his phone.
Im not sure should I check to see if he is actually carrying on the affair with the coworker or not.