Here’s why -
Mine and my oh phones are linked on fb, this is mainly because I upload things for him - photos etc so it’s just easier to log in from my phone.
Anyway, yesterday I received a drop notification from a woman that my oh was friends with years ago, but had drifted from. I personally suspect they fancied each other but nothing came of it - one was in a relationship when the other wasn’t etc.
Anyway, years have passed and they haven’t spoken much to my knowledge. He still has her on social media and occasionally will like a photo or a milestone status etc.
The drop notification said ‘what was the dream about?! Sexual or murder ?’
I didn’t click on the message, but another dropped down shortly after saying ‘I’m intrigued, tell me more’
I wanted to see what he had replied with - but the messages had gone. No record of her in his inbox. He doesn’t realise that I have received the notifications.
Then when he got back home, another dropped down saying ‘you horny devil you’
My oh went to the loo and must have replied an deleted again, because again - they were gone.
While this has gone on, I also want to mention that last week my father died. This evening I was organising the funeral and felt very tearful, so my oh was suffocating me with comfort and I didn’t mention what I’d seen. I felt like the constant hugs etc had more to do with his guilt than wanting to properly comfort me. During the talk about the funeral he kept mentioning that he had wedding plans coming up so make sure the funeral wasn’t on that day.
I assume he told her the sordid details of his dream and obviously knows how inappropriate that is - else why delete. But to do it while I am organising my father’s funeral has really hurt me , I can’t bear to look at him. It feels like cheating but is it ? I don’t know. :/