Potentially triggering.. Experiences of domestic abuse trials?

[adviseoncourt]

My niece is currently going through the horrible process of taking her ex partner to court. She’s denying to the police that it has happened before but the police do have an incident on file where passers by called them (niece denied it at the time and refused to give a statement)

The latest abuse was that he refused to leave their house, threatened to jump out of a first story window with their toddler if she didn’t let him take her. He smashed up the house, assaulted my niece (though no obvious injuries) and also assaulted his baby in the process (again no obvious injuries) this was a two hour long ordeal where the door was barricaded by him, all phones and computers were smashed to avoid police.

Police were called eventually and niece gave a statement as was worried about social services taking baby if she didn’t. He has been charged but bailed pending court date. She doesn’t want him to be charged as it ‘wasn’t like him’ bless her. Her mum has given a police statement also explaining how he has manipulated her and controlled her throughout their 6 year relationship.

Does anyone have any experience of this? Is he likely to be charged? Her mums in bits, were all in limbo... what is the court process likely to be like? Niece has been told nothing except the court date and has been told to call 999 if he attempts to make contact. Social services have been visiting bi-daily. She has no idea of what to expect or who to ask. Poor thing has been really left in the lurch.

Is he likely to face prison? Thanks so much for listening/answering!

Sorry i have no advise but didn't want to read and run. Hopefully someone with more advise will turn up soon.

I'm sorry you're niece is going through this but she needs to be strong and realise the potential of her child either being taken in to care or put on the at risk because of protecting him?

So, if there is a court date, he has been charged. Do you know what he has been charged with? Assault by beating? Whether he is convicted will depend on whether she gives evidence against him. If she withdraws her co-operation with police it is likely without third party evidence that the case will not proceed. But social services will take the threat to the child very seriously and she will be in danger of losing the baby if she resumes her relationship. Whether he would receive a custodial sentence depends on what he has been charged with and other factors, including whether he has previous convictions for violence. The fact that he both assaulted and threatened the child is definitely an aggravating factor and may be the subject of a separate charge.

I have been in a DV situation where the children witnessed an attack on me. I left my H and co-operated with police; it was the last straw after years of controlling behaviour. Leaving relationships like these can be very tough and I understand the feeling of attachment to the controlling partner because I am fighting my own feelings of grief for the good parts of the relationship I lost. But please do all you can to support your niece in staying away from him - men like him just do not change - so many threads on this board are testament to this fact.

Women’s Aid and other domestic abuse organisations can give you invaluable information and advice. Some police forces have their own DV teams to give specialist support. There should be witness support teams who are referred by the police to your niece to explain the court process and to help her through it. She can ask for “special measures” such as screens erected in court so that she does not have to see her ex when she is giving evidence.

There is help out there - you just need to reach out. There are also lots of people on this site who can give you and your niece the support you need.

Thanks so much to everyone that replied. Yes he has been charged with assault and assault on a minor as well as threatening to kill.
She has admitted these assaults and is working with the police under SS advice, just not admitted that it is an ongoing thing and has happened before, is claiming it was out of character, her mum has done a statement saying that he has previously.
No police or victim services have contacted her except SS that are seeing her regularly and telling her not to see him but that’s it for their advice.
Do people usually go to prison for this? There were no obvious injuries but police witnessed evidence of the house being smashed and at the time of being arrested he did resist arrest. We don’t know if he’s admitted anything.

Your daughter could really do with some support, maybe contact the heath visitor who could put you in contact with a domestic abuse worker. They can also go to court with you and generally provide emotional and practical support.