I'm 23 and my current relationship has lasted 3 and a half years and we have a 15 month old together. We've lived together for almost 2 years now and we've lived a happy good life so far.
When I was 17, I fell in love for the first time with my ex. He was everything and more to me, I thought he was the one I'd spend my life with. He was so special to me and our relationship made me so happy. After two years together, he dumped me because he said we wanted different things in life and this gave me heartache I'd never felt before. I was 19 and I was absolutely heartbroken, I didn't think my life would go on.
It took me about a year until I got over this boy and the relationship and this is when I met my current partner. Fast forward 3 years and this is where I am now.
I still think about my ex every single day, whether I'm doing the food shopping, or whether I'm in bed at night. More recently, I'm experiencing very vivid dreams that almost feel real, and he's always in them. In my dreams, we get back together and it feels so real, then I wake up.
I'm not miserable in this relationship, how could I be? We have a lovely home and a lovely child together and our relationship is good. However, I keep thinking back to the relationship I had with my ex. How different my life would be right now? I'm really confused. Why am I having these dreams of my ex? I haven't saw him for 3/4 years or so. He doesn't live near me so we never bump into each other and I don't have him on Facebook anymore. I just can't stop thinking about him?
Whenever I think about him, I feel warm and fuzzy inside. Something I don't get with my current partner right now. I don't know if this is normal? I know people always say you don't forget your first love, but surely I should be over it? I feel guilt every day because I have a family with my new partner and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him, but why do I keep thinking back to my relationship with my ex?
I must add, my ex is in a new relationship too now and has been for a while. I occasionally look him up on Facebook.
There are significant differences between my ex and my current partner. My ex was very touchy feely all the time and really showed me his love. Whereas my new partner is the opposite. Since having our child 15 months ago, we very rarely have sex. Due to time and effort and we are just tired, I work long 12 hour shifts so it's not something I want to think about at the end of the day. Could this be one of the reasons why?
Please could someone just enlighten me onto why my ex keeps bouncing into my dreams and why I keep thinking about him in my life?
The relationship died four years ago. It's only in the last six months or so I would say that I've started thinking about him again. I even fantasise about talking to him again and I know this is just wrong, he's not gonna be the same person and neither am I. I just don't know why I'm feeling this way and I really want to stop dreaming about him as it's really affecting me most days when I wake up.