Is my partner a manipulater?

[Sallyjunior]

My girlfriend everytime we argue will expect me to beg for her to come back. She is really immature and says things like “well you don’t love me, why do you care?” “Do you even love me” “why do you love me” I want to just be able to talk like an adult and not have her bring attention seeking all the time it’s like she feels sorry for herself and wants me to make her feel good which I don’t mind doing but if it has nothing to do with the argument I would rather just talk about the argument first and not have her saying things which aren’t true. Of course I love her but she’s clearly insecure and wants me to make her feel better by saying things to make me reassure her when that isn’t the way to go about it. She always wants to have sex too and sometimes I just want to watch movies and I don’t feel like doing it so I say no I don’t want to today and she will get annoyed and roll over and expect me to be like “baby come back” and give her lots of cuddles and kisses. She also does this baby voice and at first I liked it but now I feel like she does it to get her own way and it makes me cringe a little bit if I’m honest. I just want her to be more grown up about situations and not act like a child. She’s 19. I’m 20. We’re both lesbians too.

She sounds high maintenance. Some folk like that, I would find it a pita. I'm assuming you're childfree and unmarried, this is just a relationship that hasn't worked out. Move on.

Just tell her. Be honest, be kind, but be honest about how you feel. If you can't talk to her without all this childish voice and wheedling then tell her youre done with it.

Sad, and I hope she matures a bit and has serious convo's
Maybe it's a pattern of hers to act the baby to get what she wants, but tell her its just annoying you, see what she says.
Don't be drawn in by the whole, you don't wuv me, thing, so tell her to grow up and stop being so bloody childish

It sounds like this relationship has run its course, to be honest. You won't change her and there are too many things you don't like.

Talk to her! Tell her what you've said here in the nicest possible way and tell her you love her and want to move on with the relationship and not risk it for silly things. At your age and her age you're both still quite new to love and being a girlfriend, sometimes we need some steer as to what's liked and what isn't liked .... that's everyone, not just young love by the way!

Give that a try and try to grow together, not grow apart

Without sounding patronising but you’re both really young and should be having fun, this doesn’t sound fun at all.

But, I can sympathise with her, she seems really insecure and anxious, perhaps her family never showed her love growing up, or has been treated badly by other close people that have claimed to ‘love’ her. Maybe she feels unworthy of your love and instead of accepting it can’t help but question it constantly.

Should doesn’t sound like a manipulator, just a young, insecure girl.

I don’t think it necessarily means the relationship has run it’s cause, but long term relationships require a lot of work and like I said you should be having fun. So it’s really up to you, but if you want it to last then just keep reassuring her, so I don’t want sec tonight but say shall we watch tv and have a cuddle etc. Then in time she’ll believe that you love her.

It sounds like you're on the slope towards losing feelings for her, if you're finding what once was cute to you, now annoying. There's no coming back from contempt.

She is only 19 and immature. She wheedles because it's previously been working and been seen as sweet. And because you're pulling back and turned off by it now, she's still more insecure and so the cycle continues. It might be it's run its course - don't stay with her if you've lost respect for her, because it will turn into contempt and that's bad for you both. If you love her still, have a sit-down proper talk together about your communication issues, maybe with a counsellor present so she doesn't slide into baby-talking you.

It's sounds like you quite liked the way she acts, but now got bored. Sounds like you changed

She may do the baby voice because she thinks you like it.

Nothing wrong with changing. But sounds like she hasn't changed with you.

My feeling is that the relationship has run it's course. Especially if you can't talk to her about these things.

If this relationship is worth it then talk to her when things are going well about how you both can behave differently and cope better when things aren’t going so well. Explain your feelings and how you’d like to be able talk problems through and solve them to make your relationship stronger as not doing this isn’t healthy.

If it’s not worth then you are allowed to call it a day. It’s not very often that teenage relationships turn out to be be your happily ever after and normal to have s number if relationships before you’ve found the right one.