Please bear with me, this is my first posting!
There is so much back history to this, but today this is what has happened.....
Celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary (I asked if he was sure he wanted to do this) in a hotel recently, 30 or so family memebers, renewal of vows etc, he got blind drunk, couldn't even stand to have a dance! although denies this even when family members told him this! wish we hadn't have wasted all that money! certainly wasn't the day I envisaged... very sad in fact.
My husband of 30 years (2nd marriage) has always liked to play mind games with me, so any argument always looks like its my fault, manages to turn any disagreement to me being the one to start/blame. He likes to have the upper hand and I'm quick tempered, and he knows how to push my buttons, and this he uses to his advantage.
However, today.... I awoke before him, I'm not sleeping well, menopause issues, I had a shower, he has got up, wanting to start an argument, enticing me into answering him back, I reined in my defensive mode and managed to talk to him without raising my voice and got myself busy cooking a roast dinner like nothing was wrong, this just left him bemused and confused.... he's ate his dinner, consumed a bottle of wine and gone to bed! I am so proud of myself...days like today means it normally ends up with a screaming match and full blown argument, which sometimes ends up physical on both of our parts I'm ashamed to say.
All this sounds a bit disjointed I know.... Don't know what the future holds, he is retired, I'm still working fulltime since the new pension rules came into effect. hey ho!