BF had an on-off fwb relationship with his ex and I am insecure...

[ithinkiminlove]

So... I am dating this guy for a couple of months now, and it starts to look serious.

The issue I am uneasy about that he has an ex, who he had an on-and-off fwb relationship with after their divorce. He told me about this yesterday in a very offhand manner, when we discussed a "sex with ex" situation in a couple we both know. Like: "Yeah, me and ex-Mrs Right used to see each other for some easy fun every time we both are single". I probed further and apparently the last time was just a couple of days before we went on our first official date (but already were heavily texting /flirting).

They have children together so there is plenty of contact between them, and he stayed at her house a couple of times when there were illnesses or emergencies. Am I wrong to be so jealous and insecure now? Or is it a normal arrangement and I am overthinking this?

Who brought up the conversation. Did he? Maybe to deliberately make you insecure. I would end this now, because you'll always be insecure and he will always be offhand about it

Who brought up the conversation. Did he?
We just discussed the situation we observed that very day (a separated couple we know getting together again for what will probably be a one-night stand). Then he mentioned that he read the news about Prince Andrew having a cosy relationship with his ex-wife and remarked that it is not that uncommon.

I'd get rid. He and his ex are still entwined; he won't go no contact with her as they have kids, and you will feel forever paranoid whenever he is round there. Not worth the heartache.

Crikey. No way would I be ok with this.
They have children together. Their lives will always be entwined. You’ll always be wondering.

I would save yourself the angst and call it quits.

And you are completely normal to feel insecure about this.

I would definitely not be ok with this..

Especially as they have children together so will always be in close contact..

I think I'd have to move on

No way! I would not get involved.. get out now before you become more involved.

No. I’d hate this. I’m not a naturally insecure person but I’d struggle to cope with this. Especially as it’s so recent and they have DC so will always be involved with one another. I’d save yourself the unhappiness and insecurity

sounds potentially way too messy OP... sorry

The issue I am uneasy about that he has an ex,

This is the crux. Start dating boys (yeah I mean children who are legally ok to have sex with) who have no history.

It was before you got together. He was doing nothing wrong. What’s the problem ?

If you want someone without any history I suggest searching for a virgin

On the face of it he's done nothing wrong. I've heard of several couples that do it when going through a divorce. It's easy familiar sex. He said it was when they were single...So no cheating involved.

All depends on how seriously you take this relationship...which for me depends on age...if I have my own kids etc..

I wouldn't want a serious relationship with him...because the Ex is very much in his life. If you're not in a similar situation...there's an imbalance.

He has baggage with an Ex and young kids... not a relationship for me I'm afraid.

I'd reiterate he's not done anything wrong...but I'd not want a BF who stays at his Ex's house... even if it's an emergency...even though rationally I understand its because of the kids.

I'd reiterate he's not done anything wrong...but I'd not want a BF who stays at his Ex's house... even if it's an emergency...even though rationally I understand its because of the kids.

Absolutely. Particularly when he’s said they regularly hook up when they’re both single and he slept with her when he was flirting with you/arranging your first date.

They haven’t had a clean break.

Run for the hills!

Or is it a normal arrangement and I am overthinking this?

Definitely not a normal arrangement!