Loss of family on divorce

[lostfamily]

Feeling sad today that divorce has meant the loss of my in laws and my ex's family. His mother was always a complete bitch and my ex didn't have much time for her but my FIL was lovely. He was a great FIL and grandad.
The divorce is yet to be finalised due to my ex being a bastard over the whole thing. He was and still is very abusive.
My FIL used to visit us at least once a week for a family dinner and would visit on the weekends even though my ex was at work but he'd come to see me and the children. We were quite close and spent lots of time with him in general.
My own dad passed away just before my husband left so I guess I've lost 2 dads and a husband all at the same time.
Then there's the SIL and BIL I no longer see and the rest of the family. Lots of aunts and uncles of my ex's. They all welcomed me with open arms. Now they've all been turned against me believing his narrative that I'm the crazy, bitter ex who hasn't moved on. I'm glad he's gone and I'd never take him back. I instigated the divorce. He went off and moved in with a younger woman with a few kids and had more with her. I've had a couple of relationships and another child but due to my appalling track record with abusive men I've decided to stay single. I've looked at the freedom program and it's helped a lot but I feel safer single.
It's been 6 years since he left and I can honestly say I'm so much happier than I ever was with him but I've lost so many people. I look at divorced couples who are still friendly with both ex and their families and wonder how they do it. That was never going to be possible with my ex though as he's poisoned them. At first my SIL couldn't believe he'd have an affair and now is so far up his gf's arse it's embarrassing. Same with his mum.
I have no family apart from my children and one relative.
Just makes me so sad.

It's very hard. I can see why you're upset. I've never experienced anything like this, but I guess you have to accept that your Ex's family have decided to go with his version rather than fall out with him.

It doesn't have to be like this, but I imagine your Ex has turned it into a situation where it's either you or him - putting them all in a very difficult position.

I wonder if you could get in touch with your FIL reminding him of the happy times you and his grandchildren spent together, and say you miss him. What's the worst that could happen? He can only say no.

Sorry I have no personal experience of this kind of situation, but I didn't want to read and run.

I did contact him a few father's days ago but it didn't change anything. Then he lied to the police for my ex and has supported him through many malicious actions so it's changed my perspective of him. I just miss the way things were with what I considered my family. I just don't miss my ex.

There are organisations where you can adopt a 'grandad' for your children. You might find someone more supportive.

No advice OP but a handhold. I am in same boat, my dad died a few years before we divorced and it's just me, my mum and my kids.
I feel like my extended family has faded away over the years. Big family gatherings are now a thing of the past.

Sending a hand hold to you. Yes I know how it is, losing them all. I have very little family of my own, and when I married I acquired a huge family of 9 siblings , many of whom became quite close. But when we got divorced they all sided with him - which I understood of course, he was their brother . I've seen them only rarely since then, at a couple of funerals .

it's part of getting divorced unfortunately - people take sides because they are siblings / parents and you always end up on the outer. All you can do is to build your own life and enjoy your children .