Am I being a "psycho"

[Mamashark93]

Hi there,
I'm new to this, however, I am desperate for some advice. Usually, I would turn to friends and family but they are so fed up and angry with my other half and I don't want to make the whole thing worse.
Firstly, my partner is a good, kind dad I just feel he isn't being a good partner.
My partner isn't supporting me in ANY way. He is in a dead end job in which he often doesn't get paid on time or ever as its a family business leaving me to deal with the brunt of financial issues even though I am on a part-time wage. This has been going on for almost a year. We have an 11-month-old baby. I've begged him to get a new job and to put us first but he hasn't.
I never get any time to myself between work, a sick grandmother and caring for my baby. My family lives about an hour away as well. I've been trying to juggle it all but I've ended up really unwell and on antidepressants.
Basically, I am looking for people to advise me on what they would do in my shoes! I'm scared to leave as there would be no going back. But my partner not only has no secure employment but he is still going on nights out and to football games despite our financial difficulty. He also went to a wedding a few weeks ago and told me he didn't want me to attend with him which hurt my feelings and he then didn't return until Five in the morning and lay in bed all day with a hangover.
He is very selfish tonight after a weekend of caring for our child by myself (as my partner played 5-aside on Friday night and then watched the football at a friend all day today) I asked if he could settle the wee one if she woke because I was going for bath I was met with complaints as he wanted to watch the boxing in peace.
He is now telling me that I am "losing the plot" and that I am a "psycho." I'm hurt, fed up and confused about if I'm being unreasonable. I want my baby to have her daddy around but I don't know if I can keep this up.
Thanks for any advice!

Well you sound like a lovely person living with a man child to me. He is in the wrong, he knows and he's on the defensive. Is your life better for him being in it?

He's obviously not a good kind dad if he can't be arsed to look after his own child while you're in the bath. He went to a wedding without you?! What the hell kind of partner does that?

Dump him, he's a waste of space.

I seem to be missing the good kind dad part you said he was.

He buggers off doesn't come back to the early hours of the next day, doesn't earn to support his child, lays around with a hangover, buggers off to play football, buggers off to watch football and then whinges about looking after his own child if they wake up.

Can you go and stay with your family?

You are, definitely, not a psycho.
He is an immature, selfish prick who still thinks he is single and without responsibilities.
He won't improve.
Either get rid of him or leave yourself.

Basically, I am looking for people to advise me on what they would do in my shoes!
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That's simple. I'd leave. Sounds as if you have supportive family who would support you if you did.

Agree, you need time and space away from him OP. We're stranger's to you but from what you've said he isn't a good, kind, dad.

And I don't think I need to say this because it shouldn't need to be said but no you are not a psycho. He's an arse however...

In your shoes... I would say I wasn't sure whether things were working between us any more and that I wanted a trial separation for a set period of time, say 3 months?? If he really loves me and our child it wouldn't be a case of 'no going back' (that would be the case in a relationship where pride was greater than love).
I would find friends/family who could let me stay for a few weeks each, beg them if necessary. Then I would meet up again in 3 months time to talk.

Just what I would do, I appreciate may not work in your scenario.

Kick him out already! What are you waiting for? Time to take the blinders off.

No you aren’t being psycho. He’s being selfish, and he doesn’t sound like he’s being a good dad all of the time.
He’s trying to quiet you, so he can do what he wants. Going to the wedding without you was so he could have a good time. I’d have been hurt too. You deserve better IMO.

This is exactly what I was dealing with and they make it out to be your fault. Fully sympathise with you it's not an enjoyable situation. Leaving is hard but if he doesn't change then it has to happen. I left once he was fine then all of a sudden devastated then I forgave him and took him back then it didn't take him long to go back to his old ways.

You don't have a partner, you have a man-child living in your house. Either kick him out or leave yourself You say if you do 'there's no going back' - that's good, you need to run and don't look back. Not only is he selfish and self absorbed, he doesn't respect you as a partner or mother of his child. But I think you know this already and are looking for support to leave.

It sounds like you're working hard and he's being a lazy arse!

Some practical things:
Whose name is your current home in? Joint names or just one of you?
Is it a private let or social housing?
Is there space for you to stay with your gran? (I'm guessing she's nearer by than the rest of your family if you're looking after her, so you could keep your job if you stayed there?) Could she cope with the baby at her place?
Are there friends with different shifts you can swap childcare with?

I meant with the baby being in her house, and the noise and so on, she's evidently not well enough to look after a baby by herself.