Can anyone tell me if theyve experienced this? Im worried but at the same time, feel sort of relieved
I've spent the last couple of years doing a lot of introspection after a painful divorce and becoming a single parent. The friendships Ive chosen since childhood have often fell short - always girls/women who deep down I suspected didn't actually like me; subtle put-downs in front of others, turning people against me, talking badly behind my back, etc. I always distanced myself so went from one friendship group to the next, but fearing rejection more as time went on
As for men, always chose the charming emotional abusers who I once again, suspect didn't like me. Often made to feel inferior, have dealt with depression on and off over the years.
The other day I returned home from a long coffee/chat with a mum from dd's school and I was just completely drained. She has a lot of problems and toxic people in her life, major negativity towards others, lots of bitching etc. It dawned on me that I was falling into yet another bad friendship. I sat and cried, it was just such a heavy, awful feeling Id left her house with. It made me decide once and for all to just give up with others and devote my time and love to my daughter and parents. Is this normal?
Ive just decided to come to terms with the fact that I may not find genuine love in a partner, or ever experience a good, healthy friendship
Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Honestly, when I think about keeping to myself completely and just spending time with my family/going to work, I feel all the stress leaving my body. But at the same time, I fear loneliness.