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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Won't leave his gf, won't leave me alone

14 replies

alwaysstired · 10/11/2018 15:11

Going to try and keep this short.

I was seeing someone at the beginning of the year, found out he had a gf of 2 years. I spoke to her and told her everything. He filled my head with shit as they do and I believed him, I carried on seeing him it's pathetic but I felt like I needed him, it was literally like an addiction. I learnt he was just bullshitting me about ending the relationship etc so I cut it off with him so many times, he would talk me around and we'd be literally going round in circles, his gf found out we'd still been seeing eachother a few times since and she don't seem bothered.

I haven't seen him in over a month but he's still ringing me daily on withheld (he's blocked on everything) if I don't answer he will simply keep ringing just to ask to see me every day. He turned up unannounced a few months back early in the morning banging at my door till I gave in and answered. I've told him repeatedly I'm over it all now and not interested in seeing him again, he's turned up this morning I didn't let him in but he was asking to see me again, I told him no. The last time I seen him before today, he again turned up st night unannounced saying he had something important to tell me, half an hour later his gf is at my front door, he hides the keys and my phone and refuses to go outside!
His gf wants me to ring her every time I hear of him or if he turns up but o really cannot be arsed with the drama an he doesn't give a shit if she knows anyway. I really like him but I'm not allowing him to use me and I feel bad on his gf! I honestly don't know what it will take for him to leave me alone, he says it's because he loves me etc but if he really did he wouldn't put me in this situation.

OP posts:
alwaysstired · 10/11/2018 15:13

I've also mentioned the police to him and he looks at me like I'm daft and says he doesn't give a shit

OP posts:
sparklepops123 · 10/11/2018 15:15

Tell him you’ve met somebody else

Unicornandbows · 10/11/2018 15:15

Police restraining order... This is harassment! Call 111 for advice

Singlenotsingle · 10/11/2018 15:15

It's harrassment, a criminal offence. Tell him you'll call the police if he keeps on doing this.

TellItLikeItReallyIs · 10/11/2018 15:18

This is very simple.

Send him something in writing (email probably best so you can prove it was sent/received) saying directly and unequivocally that

  • you do not wish to hear from him any more, you have already asked him not to contact you and this is the final time of asking. If he contacts you again in any way (phone, text, email, coming to your house or your work) you will regard it as harassment and you will report it to the police.

Add a final line saying "This email puts you on formal notice that I have asked you to stop all contact with me and I will produce this to the police as evidence if you contact me again."

Job done.

You won't hear from him again. If you do, report him to the police.

You won't do this though because the whole tone of your email indicates you are loving this drama.

alwaysstired · 10/11/2018 15:42

I've text him and blocked him again. I'm not enjoying it, it's literally been making me ill. It's depressing. I really hope he doesn't bother because I really don't want to have to ring the police on him I didn't want to have to get on the wrong side of him. I don't know what he's capable of, if I don't though it's never going to end is it

Won't leave his gf, won't leave me alone
OP posts:
Unicornandbows · 10/11/2018 16:11

If he does get in contact again seriously go to the police this is the sort of thing psychos do and you don't want to be murdered or something similar

WellThisIsShit · 10/11/2018 16:13

This sounds very stressful Flowers

Notjustanyone · 10/11/2018 16:26

Well if you've told him before you are going to the police and he didn't take it seriously then stop saying it and actually do it!
You can't moan about it if you aren't proactive in getting his, quite frankly, ridiculous behaviour under control.

RedVelvetLinesTheBlackBox · 10/11/2018 16:59

You really like him..??

Notacluewhatthisis · 10/11/2018 18:19

He is harrassin you to the point that you will involve the police and say you really like him?

Come on op, he is s cheating stalking bastard who is, apparantly, making your life miserable. Whatever to like?

SandyY2K · 10/11/2018 19:53

You sound quite young OP... and it's all too much drama

In fact the 3 of you all seem unable to deal with this situation with maturity.

croprotationinthe13thcentury · 10/11/2018 21:01

It is very simple OP. You call police and log it. If he calls again you call police again and log it again. Carry on repeating. He sounds like a complete loser, his arse will fall out if the police get in touch.

TheHobbitMum · 10/11/2018 21:13

You need to go to the police OP

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