DH has v low libido

[NicoleRD]

My DH has had a very low libido for the past 2 years. We have a 2yo & I'm 27w pregnant, we've had sex but it almost feels forced and that makes me feel uncomfortable. We haven't had sex since I fell pregnant most recently.

He's very healthy, loving & works super hard (which may be why he has no interest). I have tried continuously, have 0 confidence now and even masturbating upsets me as it amplifies that we have no sex life.

We have broken up in the past due to this, but ultimately I love him and it's something I want to get past. This is something I'm going to have to suck up, right? As I choose to be with him. But. What would you do?

You say you have a Two year old and are 27 weeks pregnant, do you think it's just the old Madonna/Whore thing? He sees you as a Mum more than a lover? Some men lose sight of the fact you are still a sexual being when you are surrounded by baby stuff. You say he works hard but so do you!! Set aside some time when little one is in bed to talk. Focus on intamicy and affection rather than a full blown "you never shag me" scenario. Has he always been like this? Before you had children?

Baby we have only been together for 4 years, it hasn't always been this low but my sex drive was always higher.

He completely shuts down whenever I try to calmly talk about intimacy. He is absolutely perfect in every other way, but I'd hate to think he just sees me as a mom now (but I fear that is the case)

I try to be sexy, I've tried to dress up, do things that I know he likes, but it's still no use

I may try to 'shag me now' approach. See how that works out, I've exhausted every other avenue!

These threads pop up regularly.

To summarise your options:

1. Try to get him to change - maybe it’s a medical issue, etc. (Requires a partner wiling to change - not likely in your case)
2. Make peace with it and live w/o sex - (unlikely to work long term and you’ll end up in the other options below)
3. Find someone in a similar situation and have a FWB arrangement (solution that works for some)
4. Ask for an open marriage so that you can have sex outside of marriage (hard to stomach for most)
5. Divorce

I would leave. This is no way to live.

I would leave. This is no way to live.

You might but I'm not sure that's good advice. If the shoe was on the other foot we'd say a man was a scumbag for moaning about lack of sex during pregnancy. And quite rightly too!

Op's Dh is not pregnant though?

@busybarbara

No, I wouldn't think a man was a scumbag because he missed having sex with his wife. And I find that rather an odd attitude.