I think I have feelings, but I'm married

[ovenbum]

So name changed for this as outing.

I'll start by saying I'm married with young children, in my 20s.

Life with my DH is far from perfect and to be quite honest I don't think I love him anymore. (I have had a couple of threads about him but not going to out myself). He never makes any effort for our relationship and never really has, I've done it all. In fact I think I was the one who instigated a date in the first place, suggested marriage etc. There is hardly any affection there, we (I feel) are basically like housemates with children.

Since before I had the children there has been someone who I definitely had/ still have a crush on. I work with them. I'm quite sure the feelings are mutual but nothing has ever been discussed. Even on my maternity leaves I tried to concentrate on my family and making DH and I work as a family unit, but every time I have gone back to work those feelings are always there.

I'm really stuck on what to do. I don't think my marriage will be a lifelong one as I feel we are just together for the kids, however I don't want to hurt him as he is a good person, but I think even he knows it's not working.
I also am not sure on whether to open up to this person about my feelings as I could make things awkward at work if I'm totally wrong and they do not feel the same, or if they do that may even upset them more in the fact they can't act on it as I am a married woman!

I actually feel like a teenager with it all which is absolutely ridiculous. I get excite when they message me or I see them at work.

But I don't want to ruin my life and life for my kids if it's just some ridiculous hormonal crush which will pass.

Has anyone been in a similar situation or got any advice?
Please no hate as I'm in such an anxious turmoil as it is.

Have you actually spoken to DH about any of this - and how close you all are to losing your family unit?

I would try to talk to my husband first...tell him you are unhappy and watch the reaction

Yes, sorry I didn't put that in the op. We have had the talk a few times but nothing changes. Obviously I haven't told him about the other person because I'm still not really sure what my feelings are on that.

So you have been unhappy since before you had kids?

Honestly this sound like it could be the script that you are telling yourself.

Have you told husband what you have said here regarding your feelings? Is the co-worker married?

He is passive, you instigated marriage and kids, now you have had your fill, you want to move onto the next man for what you may get. Put your kids first, not you, and when you move onto number 3 and 4 try to get someone financially richer than you.

Leave your marriage, you're in your 20's, it's clearly not working for you, your colleague is a red herring. You need to be a single mum with your children. You are giving everyone involved a half life.

I really think you'd benefit from counselling to figure out what you want. You're too young to stay in the marriage if you don't love him or have the desire to work on your marriage.

You went for this passive man and married him, so you must have seen something in him you liked.

It's not like you were desperate to settle or had the fear of the bio clock ticking.

I would have said couple's counselling, but you need to figure out what you want first.

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to post.
Yes I think you're right I think I should look into counselling, I'm not happy in my life and I'm looking for things to make me happy. I would be happier as a single mum I expect.