I'm new her and basically registered to get some advice.
I'm with DH) now for 10 years and married for 2 but just because he pressured me into it. We have 2 lovely DC who are 9 and 8. The first few years were really good but the last 3 are just horrendous. We started our own business and he can't cope with all that comes with it. He is constantly agressive, hit me and the children as well several times and that quiet badly (specially me), he basically kept me hostage and took the phone off me as well so i can't call for help. Physical agression is not very common though (not that I excuse it) its really the everyday picking and complaining that wears me down. nothing is good enough, I don't work hard enough, the kids are not good enough at school (they do brilliant actually) specially our son just can't get it right and is shouted at every day and he actually asked me if we can make daddy move out.
I could go on much longer with all the abuse going on but I made up my mind that I'm leaving. Just planning it all. Money is of course an issue but I work beside our business which I would obviously leave as well and as my job is freelance I can increase my hours quiet a lot (can't do it now though as DH won't let me work more then 8 hours a week)
I have to say he is from abroad so am I but he is from a non eu country and I'm EU. he wants to apply for a new residence card based on our relation but I decided not to support this and he wants to do it asap. I decided to leave in december just after we paid our house rent and I get housing benefits plus child benefits and tax credits all paid in the same week so will have some money to tie me over until my pay comes and new benefits go through (would probably be made to appy for universal credit as there are no tax credits anymore available in our area if u claim new which I would have to do after the split) plus it would be christmas hollidays so the kids would be at home which I prefer in that period so he can't try to pick them up from school.
Childrens passports are already removed from the house and i do have a phone hidden nowadays in the bathroom which i keep charged and he doesn't know about as he keeps mine when we fight.
I really try to keep it quiet and make him think I'm supportive of him just so he keeps quiet but its just so hard.
His got his last residence card because he showed fake payslips of me working (I didn't work that time, he paid an accountant to do that and i have proof of that) so I'm thinking to forward those information to the home office in the hope that would be a way of have him removed from the country as it would make his current residence unlawful but I'm worried it would incriminate myself as well.
Main concern is really that he tries to remove the children and take them to his country from where I would never be able to get them back (thats why removing passports have been done).
Moneywise he isn't controlling at all so I do manage to get some aside but as there isn't really much to begin with its not really worth much.
Would it actually be possible to report past events to the police? I would like to get proof of the past domestic violence events and the ongoing ones so i can get legal aid as I wouldn't be able to afford a solicitor on my own and def need a occoupation order and prohibitive steps order as I don't want him to be able to get the hands on the children by himself.
In best case he moves himself from here back to his country, he always says he would do that in case I leave him but he equally threatened several times to take the children and he once reached the point where he tried to force me to write a paper that I give up parental responsibilites which i of course refused
Today in the morning he had a go at me just because the breakfast wasn't right and yesterday evening he mourned because there was no dessert available. Funnily enough if I make it then he never touches it and it goes in the bin
I'm just so fed up from him and all this tensions at home and want him to go but also do have to consider the financial site at least a bit.
would be grateful for any advice and sorry for the very long post and if it sounds confusing